My getaway memories

My Getaway memories......

Firstly is our room on stilts . Not forgetting the slendid view.



Fun times spent on our balcony.


With my favourite foods.....


And Ken's favourites.


Our luxurious spa. I wan more!!



The steps to our room was a killer.... I feel like fainting everytime I walk back to the room.


Our yummy dessert. We went there specially to eat A&W. We had curly fries and root beer float. But nothing beats the waffles. *burp*
Ken waiting for our waffle to be ready.



My Birthday gift from Ken. I love Pork.

On our last day, not looking forward to goin back to reality.



Beautiful memories with u.


more good times to come. =) I *heart* U.

Been feeling kinda down and emo these few days. Something I can't explain why. Juz some uneasy feeling inside me.
Yesterday was a Saturday and I spent it at work and school. How sad can my life be? Went Far East for some retail therapy... was feeling juz upset about pretty much everything and damage done to my bank account was like about $200 bucks. Argg. There was this shop which sells really pretty dresses but the prices were ridiculous. A dress cost like $169.90. And it was not branded. It was a simple dress, from dunnoe where, selling in a small shop at Far East and the material was like any other clothes from Far East, thin and translucent. To spend that amount of money on a thin simple looking dress... I could not bring myself to do it. FOr that amount, I could get 5 pieces of other clothing from my regular shops. Which I did...

After shopping, headed down to Kovan to buy some plants. Decided to pick up a new hobby, Gardening. Yes, Gardening. Did not managed to find any plant I like cuz it was quite late and most of the nurseries were closed, decided to head down later to check out some other nurseries. Im quite excited bout my new hobby. =)

Was pretty upset the other day, conversation I overheard between Ken and his fren. His fren was telling Ken about something funny his gf said to another girl. Which was somthing like - Are u Chinese or Malay? Why U so dark? - It was in Chinese, so pardon my translation. It really sounded much worse in Chinese. I totally lost it when I heard that and thought that it was fucking rude. But instead they thought that it was funny. How would that girl feel when asked that question. Its not like she chose to be that color. What a fcuking bitch.
Juz becaues some girls think that they are pure chinese, they are like so much better than the rest.
It brought back some bad memories of me being made fun of for my mixed parentage. It sad and hurtful. I have grown to be much stronger than I was when I was much younger, so it does not really bother me anymore. But sometimes, I will get so pissed when I hear remarks like that, maybe because of all the suppression. Im not ashamed of my mixed blood, but some people make me feel like I ought to be. Juz because my mom is Thai, does not make me less priviledge to walk this earth.
Im blessed to be born with fair skin, but juz imagine those who are not. Being made of fun of something they have no control of is cruel. Unlike obesity, fat people have a chance to not be fat, so if they are fat, they deserved to be laughed at. Unless they are nice people. Then they are spared. So as I always tell people, u can say im ugly. But u must never say im fat. I'll be more hurt if u said im fat, cuz it means im not doin anything about it and I should be laughed at. But when u say im ugly, i have no choice. I juz gotta live with it right?
either way its sad. I tink this is the reason for me feeling upset this few days. Been so stressed out and eating a lot, I tink Im putting on weight. But im too lazy to go exercise and spend all my free time sleeping away.
so im now fat and ugly. congrats luisa. good job.
argg.....
I hate her so much for making fun of people that are not of pure parentage. I wish I can post her picture up so she can be ostracized. But I will not. Cuz whatever I say here, I will forget bout it in a while. and when I see this post, I might regret it. so well. its like the other person I hate so much, how much I wanna say about her, I refrain from letting out my harsh words, no matter how much I want to, cuz I know someday, I'll regret all the mean words I've put down in writing. and there will be no way to erase it. So for now, I shall try to forget the evil and wicked things those 2 girls have said and done, and try to forgive them. The girl who makes fun of people skin color takes the cake from the fat girl who is loud and irritating. loud and irritating who pisses the hell of lots of people versus a girl who tinks that being a pure chinese makes her better than anyone else.

I tink I should juz buy some new plants so I can start talking to them.
Im mad. Really really goin mad. and im still upset.
I wish I can run away from everyone and everything. There are wicked people all around and I dun wish to deal with them. Ken understands and see all that is happening, but there is nothing we can do. Im not the bitchy Luisa I used to be and I dun have the energy to deal with all this. I should juz continue to stay in hibernation to avoid all the bad aura outside my world. Yes, FOr now, I shall juz remain in my own world.

Phew....!

This week has been extremely hectic. Finally coming to an end to this super exhausting, stressful and tiring week... I can't wait for Friday. Nope, I will not be heading out but at least I get to relax for while without worrying about anything.

Firstly, this week is the deadline for both reports. Both group and individual. So trying to juggle both reports at the same time is super duper stressful and tiring.
Secondly, this whole week I was to be understudy for Cash Office. A new role, its learning new things all over again. I was worried the first day but after the second day things got a little better. Startin to get the hang of it but its really very tiring. I get so exhausted everyday after closing the branch, I still gotta either go to class or meet my groupmates for discussion. Im so tired everyday, I really dunnoe how I made it through till today. My back hurts and my eyes seems to auto shut every 2mins.
They say the higher u climb the more lonely u become. Maybe I rose too fast, some people could not except it. Which makes me sad. Learning the new role has it good times and bad times. Caleb and Sheares has been pretty supportive of me at work, so have many others but one or two of them has been pretty harsh with me. its difficult dealing with it. In the beginning, I was on the same side as them, but now I tink its hard for them to accept that they gotta do what I ask them to and it is really difficult asking them to do certain stuff. I know I still dunnoe a lot of stuff, but I have only worked for bout 1 and 1/2 years, so compared to their 8-10 years experience Im not that good. yet.
well.... im still goin to try hard to perform well and to be outstanding at work. Really feel that I do not want to let my boss down since she has been fighting hard for me to learnall the roles of a operations officer. Its really difficult with lots of things to learn, but I tink I'll be fine.
So add on all this workload with school work, im pretty much exhausted and stressed out. sigh.

Europe trip is back on schedule. So YIPPIE. I guess its a break for me. Planning to take a break from school next sem, to rest and recharge.
Shucks, gotta do somemore work and im already so sleepy.... how much more of this torture can i take. Im dying...... barely got enough time for myself this week. so sad. been eating a lot this whole week, did not realise till my colleagues asked me bout it. Have been snacking non stop, and snacking on junk food and eating whenever I get the chance. Eating lots of chocolates. and heavy lunches. had rojok and chee chong fun for lunch....

gotta go back to typing my report. sianz.....

sianz...

Im suppose to be on leave till Monday and I thought that I could totally enjoy my entire super long weekend. Barely even reached Singapore when the messages and phone calls started coming, on work and school projects. Felt so sianz the moment I reached Singapore, wished so much that I could spend longer time away. Away from all this bullshit.
Gotta wake up early tomorrow morning on my off day to meet up with group mates for discussion. *sigh*
When will this end.
Grandma called me and told me that the Europe trip is cancalled. But we're be going to Turkey instead. Well, at least I dun have to take too many days of leave.

Friends came over for Monopoly game again. Really love the house being filled with laughter. I tink it gives the home a good feeling, or rather a good aura.
Everything seems to be goin smoothly for now, besides my school and work stress. Im crossing my fingers and hoping that things will only get better.

I know I said it many times, but Im gonna say it again. Ira is a damn good housemate. She is clean, neat and fun. The 3 of us could juz sit around the living room and play and chat and slack... its a good thing. She is so sweet for boiling water for me and buying junk food for all to share. Im glad. No worries at all.

Sitting around and chatting today, get to see the guys poing of view. The gathering today was guys in different stages of a relationship. The honeymoon, the so-in-love, the sian-already, the I-can't-stand-my-girlfriend, the been-together-for-damn-long-but-still-love-her, the I-want-to-marry-her.
hearing what they had to say about their girlfriend made me wonder if women were really so hard to please.
I dun tink women are hard to please, it may be that they juz dunnoe what their girlfriend wants.

So sleepy now, I miss the sea waves already, but my own bed and room feels so much comfy. But now Im back here to face work and school again. My break is so not enough. sian ah. having a little tummy ache, must be too much seafood the past 2 days. Had cheap yummy seafood dinner and seafood lunch. So plus the fact that im allergic to seafood, I could not resist and juz decided to pay for it later.
Me and Ken had Butter Squid, Quaker Oats Prawn and KaiLan with Oyster Sauce, all for only SGD$19. SHIOK.
Lunch was free, included in the package.
Other things that is cheap there would be me doin a full Mani and Pedi, total damage: Manicure $9 +Pedicure $12 = $21.
Ken bought 3 cans of beer and cigarettes for below $10. Cigarettes cost bout $2.50 a pack. We are living like a king there. its like many times we have gone there, but we juz keep goin back. Juz love it there. Love the sea and the cheap cigarettes and beer and seafood.
This is life

Birthday part 2

After all the drinking and dancing and partying, Ken and I had a getaway to continue celebrating my birthday. Still feeling sleepy and tired and bloatedness from all the alcohol, we took a ferry to Batam.

This is one of my best birthday.... had a really great time with everyone and Im really very happy...
Thanx to everyone who either spent it with me, or simply juz by remembering the day. =)
Thanx for all the best wishes.... for those who I do not keep in touch but made the effort to call too. I was really surprised but glad.

Batam was quiet as usual, which I love. Time for me to unwind and ponder about stuff. I feel really blessed. For having it all. I should count my blessings instead of seeing what I do not have...
I have my own home, a great family, a loving boyfriend, wonderful friends, my BETTER other half - Samuel, fun colleagues, my own car and lots of people who loves me... I guess thats all I need in life.... for now. =)
Until Kenneth can fufil my 1.8 million dream.
This Birthday definitely has been a love fest for me... being showered with so much love and attention.
Happy!

Early morning after partyin at Zouk, was stoning all the way on the ferry. Felt giddy and nauseous and the alcohol was still squishing in my tummy. *sigh* felt sick and a little cranky.

The view from our room. Beautiful~
Love the sound of the waves and the sea looks so peaceful.... Sat at the balcony for the longest time juz staring out at the sea.






Next best thing on the trip was our spa session..... Ahhhhhh..... after all the dancing and running around in heels the whole night, my feet were aching and I was definitely looking forward to the spa after a long period of work and studying....
HEAVEN

The Spa Room by the sea
Ken Relaxing....

Looking our to the sea while soaking in the jacuzzi..........
managed to see a beautiful sunset. simply took my breathe away.


More on the trip but feeling a little lazy now.... so shall update when free
Time to rush to someone else birthday party... Zzzzzz

Birthday Party~

I enjoyed every single moment of birthday... from the stroke of midnight all the way till the end of 12th of June. I tink I only slept for 2 hrs the whole day..... But it was a blast.....

Celebrated a WHITE birthday at Zouk with the whole 'family' of friends. Had a great surprise from Samuel. Definitely the best gift this year....

The other birthday girl that I shared the day with. =)

Sweetie Jac Chong - 11th June

Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fun panda was alrite.... expected more, but still it was okie...

One more day of work and Im running away for a while. At least a while is better than nothing.

Running away from what? Everything....

Boss says to learn the roles of Cash Officer when I come back from my leave. I appreciate the opportunity to learn new roles fast but at the same time Im scared. Worried that I may screw up. Im scared that I would be too stressed out from school to handle the pressures from work. *sigh*

Feeling a little distant from the world, from everything around me. Or rather distant from everyone around me.

I feel caught up in work and school that I feel that I have neglected people and friends around me. My family as well. Catching up with them is something long overdue.

Over the weekends, I want so much to juz hang out with them and have drinks or coffee. But at time I juz feel so exhausted that I juz dun have the energy to ask anyone out. Weekends are filled with errands to run or projects to rush. So I guess overtime, they just stop calling.

Spending a little time with them over this weekend made me realise....

how much i miss hanging out with friends.....

how much i miss the mindless chatter....

the evil gossiping sessions....

the laughters........

the cigarettes.....

how much I miss Samuel and the rest.

Feel a little detached from them all... Somehow..... sad. upset.

Giving too much to work and studies? Or simply not making enough effort?? I dunnoe.

Sometimes, it gets kinda tough.

But I guess this is the sacrifices my uncle told me about.

sacrifice...

Why do I have to sacrifice? Can't I have everything? studies, work, friends, boyfriend....

Oh ya, I only have 24hrs a day, and I dun have enough for all.... *sigh*

Im leading a sad and lonely life.

I feel im becoming a grumpy old woman... feeling so cranky everyday at work.

Might be the beginning of getting burnout from work. or maybe juz birthday blues.

CONCLUSION

Im juz plain upset and grumpy.

Hopefully my trip on Thurs would clear my head. Refresh my soul. and be all ready to come back and face the world. AND REPORTS. AND DEADLINES. AND WORK.

For now, tomorrow is gonna be another long day. dammit.

I love this pic. Its really sweet.

I feel like Im living in my own world.

Is it a good thing? or bad thing?

bad as in im leaving everyone I care for behind or rather outside of my world.

I miss them all especially Samuel. Sometimes I miss the small talk, chats, serious talks...

remember the time where we met up for coffee at Mr Bean's to talk about how unhappy we were with each other for leaving each other out of other's life.

now I feel a little disconnected.. prolly from not spending enough time together..

well.... whatever happens, I know and I hope u will always be around for me.... I *heart* Samuel.

And of course not forgetting Ken baby, for being my pillar of support and encouraging me when Im on the brink of madness. being around when im breaking down.

Thanx for not saying a word and juz hugging me when I burst out crying for no reason.

juz love it so much that u are always around for me. =)

LITERALLY.

Love Fest Part 2

Us at 'PLAY'. Can't say it was fun. It was the same old thing. Different faces, different crowd. But juz being with friends... I had fun despite my constant yawning due to being up way past my regular bed time. And my aching feet, cuz I was standing for too long.

I had a good Saturday. But I slept through Sunday... felt so crappy when I woke up. Damn. It has been so long since I last drank alcohol and had tummy ache the next day. Today is monday and as usual, I suffered from Monday Blues. But Im glad its over... juz looking forward to my spa holiday with Kenneth on my Birthday.

But till my holiday, Im back to typing reports and school work for now. Im rushing out my work so I can enjoy my leave at the end of the week.

I have made my decision regarding my studies and my holiday. I decided to defer my studies for one sem. yes... juz for a holiday. Few say its dumb to defer studies for a holiday. Many say go for the holiday. So im goin with the majority and postponing my graduation date.... All for the sake of a 13day holiday in Eastern Europe.

Worth it or not? I still do not know. Sigh. Dilemna.. okok... I've decided already. I shall stick to the plan.... hopefully all goes well.

Happy happy happy..... a little cranky... but mostly happy.

Love Fest

Laughter. Good times. Great food. Warmth. Love. Fun.Nothing more needs to be said.
I simply Adore every single one of them.....




Cute Cupcakes~ Too pretty to be eaten. But we ate them anyways... Food by Lorry, simply the best. =D

This weekend was a weekend of laughter and good food. Had a small dinner party at home on Sat. A mini gathering to celebrate my birthday and jac's. Enjoyed myself lots~ Thanx sweeties.... Love U All SOooooo MuChie *MUACKS*

Its been a week since Ira moved in. Everything is great so far... really so far so good. But im not keeping my hopes high yet, cuz of the bad experience previously. But she keeps her room really neat and clean. And the toilet does not stink. The kitchen is still as clean as it is. SO well, everything is great.
Its great coming home to neat and pretty home. Ken and I bought a new bed frame and made a nicer room for Ira to live in. The other room actually looks good now.... hmmm... or maybe the previous tenant was juz too messy. Seriously did not mind his messiness at all, but the toliet was unbearable. It was heartbreaking to see that other people did not care about the upkeeping of the house.
So, well, home has been nice with friends visiting and hanging out now.

Ken did not like the idea of previous tenant bringing up different girls all the time, it was weird seeing them walking around the house, especially the one who wore her bra and walked out to the toilet. ken was so embarrassed by that, but I seriously thought that she was kinda sweet and pretty. She cleans the room up pretty well too. But then, there was another.... Can't really remember the rest but only that some was not bad....
anyone was better than the screaming girlfren. dun even wanna mention her. the thought of her makes me..... nevermind. forget it.
Thinking of either goin to Keong's place for a swim or should I juz stay at home to do my reports... =( I have no life. Only school and work. damn sad.
Its friday night and all I can tink of is school work and school work. pathetic.

I guess Im bloggin more often now to avoid doin work. Lots and lots of reports to type but really dun have the mood to do anything. but I feel so bloody guilty doin nothing. damn.

Got half day off from work, lazing at home on a Thurs afternoon. feels good. to juz stone.

Petrol prices is juz goin up and up.... -.-

yesterday me and ken took a drive down to yishun... or is it sembawang?? dunnoe where... drove all the way down to eat their famous bee hoon. and so suay, the coffeeshop was not open. poor baby could not satisfy his craving. anyway, so we drove around looking for a nice place to eat, and there was this Hans along the road, which was 24hrs. The place was quiet with free parking. kinda nice place actually to have a quiet dinner. Its been quite some time since both of us spent time together. I know we see each other everyday, but rushing through each day, running from place to place, rushing to complete errands and meeting friends and entertaining family members, we dun get time to ourselves very much. So it nice last nite, juz me and him, eating alone at a quiet place. spending time together. =D
my days are extremely hectic and we could be sitting next to each other not talking much at all and juz doing our own stuff. me doin my reports and he.... i dunnoe what is he busy doin. So both of us came to a conclusion, its not juz about seeing each other everyday but I guess its important to spend quality time together. even if it means doing nothing at all....... yup yup.

hopefully our getaway next week will be good for us. for me to recharge from work and study stress.
yup, so now im goin to enjoy my afternoon nap. and gotta go class later................argg......... sian juz thinking bout it.

Irritated

It looks so pretty I juz gotta post it. A treat from Gloria....
It does not taste as good as it looks, but I still like it a lot. I had 2 cuz I ate Caleb's cupcake too. Hehe
I feel like such a pig, always munching and eating. Can't seem to stop eating junkfood. Must be really stressed up. And im puttin on some pounds. SCARY~!

I need to scream something out loud~!

Get your own life! And stop trying to know what is happening in my life.....

Its irritating and pathetic.
You are sad and miserable. Too bad for you. U made ur own bed, so sleep in it.

~ Work is getting more and more tedious each day. Or maybe im juz getting more and more tired. Planning a getaway soon. Juz to run away somewhere, away from everyone. Run away from school. Run away from reports and deadlines.
Caleb has been on MC on 2 days, and I do not have a good partner. Which adds on to the work load and pressure. =( after all the pent up frustrations, I snapped yesterday after work. Feel so much more calm now after throwing that embarrassing tantrum at work.

Im kinda excited about the Europe trip. Hope everything will go well. *crosses finger* Hope my exams and projects would not clash with the trip. Im so worried.

Europe for whole 13 days. wooooweeeeee
But the sad thing is leaving Baby back here alone.

I feel so sad when I tink bout it. But it will only be for 13 days.... right?
Not enough leave for the whole year.... i don't care anymore. I'll decide when the time comes... I can't believe I used up 23 days of leave so fast! and its only half a year. Hate my bloody exams, such a curse~!

Monday

Watched Sex and the City on Sunday evening with the guys. The show was simply - beautiful and gorgeous. All the clothes and shoes. Absolutely my dream come true. sigh. We totally occupied like 2 whole rows of the cinema... and damn were we noisy. Overall, the show was FABULOUS. and the girls GORGEOUS. My company FUN.

I teared a little today at work. Feeling overwhelmed with sian-ness. Felt this morning at work that this Birthday would be the worse B-day ever! why? I dunnoe. Juz feeling so sian!!

I wish I could take a break from studying. And juz stop for a while. But another part of me wanna juz get it over and done with.

Im in a dilemna. I have planned out my entire leave for the whole year. Put aside leave for my exams. My rest days... birthdays... etc.

And now an offer came up and Im in a dilemna. HOw? HOw? How??

I was kindly asked to go on a trip to Eastern Europe for 13 days~! Fully sponsored of course. How would I be able to afford~! But the prob was... I gotta keep leave for my exams or else I will totally screw it up. But an offer like this do not come everyday............

I can't breathe.

Was in a kinda shitty mood this afternoon and totally said shitty things to ken. I know he felt hurt. I could hear it in his voice. I felt so guilty. I wanted to apologise.... but i could not bring myself to say it. Instead of apologising... i juz keep saying crap shit. Argggg..... I hate my mood swings.

The moment we hung up the phone, I felt terrible. I wanted to call him back and ask him how was he feeling. But I was too arrrogant to call him back. I felt that I keep screwing everything up, when i received a sms from him. I quote word for word from Kenneth Lim.

"Baby I love u so much. I am willing to go through any hiccups you have in life. When u are down i will be there by your side. sayang you. when u r happy, i will be with you to share your joy. I juz want to let you know that im willing to do anything to make happy. Thats the only aim I have in life. I love u with my whole heart. Nothing can stop me from loving you."

And this sms juz turned my whole day around. I feel so happy. Feel so loved. It is definitely one of the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me.

So Mr Kenneth, this is proof if u ever go back on your word.