One more day of work and Im running away for a while. At least a while is better than nothing.
Running away from what? Everything....
Boss says to learn the roles of Cash Officer when I come back from my leave. I appreciate the opportunity to learn new roles fast but at the same time Im scared. Worried that I may screw up. Im scared that I would be too stressed out from school to handle the pressures from work. *sigh*
Feeling a little distant from the world, from everything around me. Or rather distant from everyone around me.
I feel caught up in work and school that I feel that I have neglected people and friends around me. My family as well. Catching up with them is something long overdue.
Over the weekends, I want so much to juz hang out with them and have drinks or coffee. But at time I juz feel so exhausted that I juz dun have the energy to ask anyone out. Weekends are filled with errands to run or projects to rush. So I guess overtime, they just stop calling.
Spending a little time with them over this weekend made me realise....
how much i miss hanging out with friends.....
how much i miss the mindless chatter....
the evil gossiping sessions....
the laughters........
the cigarettes.....
how much I miss Samuel and the rest.
Feel a little detached from them all... Somehow..... sad. upset.
Giving too much to work and studies? Or simply not making enough effort?? I dunnoe.
Sometimes, it gets kinda tough.
But I guess this is the sacrifices my uncle told me about.
sacrifice...
Why do I have to sacrifice? Can't I have everything? studies, work, friends, boyfriend....
Oh ya, I only have 24hrs a day, and I dun have enough for all.... *sigh*
Im leading a sad and lonely life.
I feel im becoming a grumpy old woman... feeling so cranky everyday at work.
Might be the beginning of getting burnout from work. or maybe juz birthday blues.
CONCLUSION
Im juz plain upset and grumpy.
Hopefully my trip on Thurs would clear my head. Refresh my soul. and be all ready to come back and face the world. AND REPORTS. AND DEADLINES. AND WORK.
For now, tomorrow is gonna be another long day. dammit.
I love this pic. Its really sweet.
I feel like Im living in my own world.
Is it a good thing? or bad thing?
bad as in im leaving everyone I care for behind or rather outside of my world.
I miss them all especially Samuel. Sometimes I miss the small talk, chats, serious talks...
remember the time where we met up for coffee at Mr Bean's to talk about how unhappy we were with each other for leaving each other out of other's life.
now I feel a little disconnected.. prolly from not spending enough time together..
well.... whatever happens, I know and I hope u will always be around for me.... I *heart* Samuel.
And of course not forgetting Ken baby, for being my pillar of support and encouraging me when Im on the brink of madness. being around when im breaking down.
Thanx for not saying a word and juz hugging me when I burst out crying for no reason.
juz love it so much that u are always around for me. =)
LITERALLY.
