A little....

Its friday nite. Home alone. Ken at Zouk..................................................... working.

Im feeling a little sad.
Im feeling a little confused.
Im feeling a little jealous.
Im feeling a little lost.

Before I start my complaining. I heard this on the radio by the Muttons, 98.7FM while driving home.
"So u think that female is the weaker sex? Try getting back the blanket in the middle of the night."
Wahahahahahaha..... Lame. I know. but it still got me smiling.

Work tomorrow as usual. my life is so boring.
Ken gotta go duty tomorrow which means I got the whole day to myself. Or rather I'll be all alone tomorrow. Good time for me to try to start on my project which is due really really soon. And im still bumming around.

Everyone is living the same life, walking the same earth. But somehow some people juz got a lucky break, some lead better lives.... blah blah blah. I know I've been whining bout this non-stop. But I juz feel so..... *sigh* as the chinese saying goes... same people, different lives. I tink it goes something like that la.
Some are famous.
Some are bloody rich.
Some born with a golden spoon.

Its so discouraging to know bout all this charmed life people. Im jealous.
Especially when I heard of the guy who gives his wife $32K a month as spending money, its like WOW!
He's pretty well know for buying down the whole condominium cuz he does not like to share the pool and lifts with other people and lives alone with his wife in the penthouse of the condo. WHAT?! too much money dunnoe where to spend.
Working in my job allows me to meet and know many many people like these. And it is depressing. VEry depressing.
$32K a month for a housewife. Her MONTHLY allowance is my ANNUAL salary. I wanna be THAT housewife. But I know I dun have the luck. Its juz my life. My fate.
im so jealous why some juz get it better than the rest. its so unfair. it it being at the right place at the right time? Or meeting the right people?
No wonder people say the chinese saying. people compare with people, will compare until die?? Is it the right translation??? haha. talking to too many chinese aunties recently. at least somehow my chinese is improving. right?

I know I gotta be contented with what I have.
But what do I have???!!!!!
I dun have/make 32K a month.
Im not a famous person.
I have to work/study very hard juz to have a better life.

okie, time to do some reflections

Things to be thankful for/ happy about
1. Grandmother (most important person in my whole life)
2. Kenneth (almost perfect bf)
3. Samuel (even though not talked in like ages)
4. My own home
5. My cute Peugeot
6. My 42 pairs of shoes
7. Roughly 30++ bags
8. More than a 100 pieces of clothing
9. Good job? (I did not say it's fun)
10. Good friends? (not so sure at the moment.)
11. Sponsored degree
12. I look cute. ( I never say gorgeous hor, juz cute. not even pretty. juz cute, like retarded cute)

Damn, i sound damn materialistic.

Sucky stuff
1. Im not disgustingly rich.
2. I dun have a pool downstairs.
3. Im not a supermodel.
4. I can't sing.
5. I have a bad hair day. Everyday.
6. I dun have clothes to wear.
7. I dun have matching shoes with my clothes.
8. I spend way too much money, and I can't control myself.
9. No life
10. No one to talk to at the moment. (which explains the long post)
11. No plans on the weekends, except school work and reports.
12. Im not making money by looking pretty.
13. I will always be the girl-next-door.
14. I can't speak chinese or thai fluently. (both supposedly to be my mother tongue)
15. Did I mention not rich and 16. not famous and 17. not beautiful.

The list of sucky stuff can juz go on and on. im feeling more and more depressed as the list grows. So from what I see, conclusion is......
The bad outweighs the good.
But the good is good enough??? what am I saying.
im being like super negative.

I need to tink Happy Happy Happy.
Life is hard. Balls.