Random thoughts

Thinking how long do I intend to stay in my job? Its not like I hate it or anything but juz feeling...... dead.
What is my goal in life? Why do I feel like im wasting my time?
Could I be living a different life?
A better life?
Why am I so ordinary?
So many people in this world. and I feel like I fall into the unfortunate category.
So many lucky people - the rich people, the beautiful people. And I fall outside this groups of people.
What can I do to make my life better?

What exactly can make me truly happy?
Money? Will having more money make me a happier person? OR will I feel more empty? If I earn more money would I be happier?
At this point, I really dunnoe. I feel so confused. I dun have a plan for myself.
I am a nobody. And nobody will notice that a nobody is gone.
Maybe if Im a beautiful person, life would be better for me. Sometimes I wish I was pretty. When I look at beautiful girls, I wonder what is like to be beautiful and pretty. To have people adore them cuz of their good looks. I guess I will never know, a plane jane I will always be. I will always be the girl-next-door that nobody takes notice of. Walking in my own space....

I have dreams but dunnoe if I will ever get to fufil them.
1) to open my own soya bean stall.... =)
2) to travel many places.
But all these are only dreams, and dreams are what they will remain.

I cant bring myself to be optimistic, life is too tough and hard. Pessimistic is what I am.
I wish I do not have to live this life. Its too tiring.
I juz want to be by myself.

Its too difficult seeing people live their perfect life, in their perfect house, with their perfect partner. Makes me wonder did GOd forget bout me?