Been feeling kinda down and emo these few days. Something I can't explain why. Juz some uneasy feeling inside me.
Yesterday was a Saturday and I spent it at work and school. How sad can my life be? Went Far East for some retail therapy... was feeling juz upset about pretty much everything and damage done to my bank account was like about $200 bucks. Argg. There was this shop which sells really pretty dresses but the prices were ridiculous. A dress cost like $169.90. And it was not branded. It was a simple dress, from dunnoe where, selling in a small shop at Far East and the material was like any other clothes from Far East, thin and translucent. To spend that amount of money on a thin simple looking dress... I could not bring myself to do it. FOr that amount, I could get 5 pieces of other clothing from my regular shops. Which I did...

After shopping, headed down to Kovan to buy some plants. Decided to pick up a new hobby, Gardening. Yes, Gardening. Did not managed to find any plant I like cuz it was quite late and most of the nurseries were closed, decided to head down later to check out some other nurseries. Im quite excited bout my new hobby. =)

Was pretty upset the other day, conversation I overheard between Ken and his fren. His fren was telling Ken about something funny his gf said to another girl. Which was somthing like - Are u Chinese or Malay? Why U so dark? - It was in Chinese, so pardon my translation. It really sounded much worse in Chinese. I totally lost it when I heard that and thought that it was fucking rude. But instead they thought that it was funny. How would that girl feel when asked that question. Its not like she chose to be that color. What a fcuking bitch.
Juz becaues some girls think that they are pure chinese, they are like so much better than the rest.
It brought back some bad memories of me being made fun of for my mixed parentage. It sad and hurtful. I have grown to be much stronger than I was when I was much younger, so it does not really bother me anymore. But sometimes, I will get so pissed when I hear remarks like that, maybe because of all the suppression. Im not ashamed of my mixed blood, but some people make me feel like I ought to be. Juz because my mom is Thai, does not make me less priviledge to walk this earth.
Im blessed to be born with fair skin, but juz imagine those who are not. Being made of fun of something they have no control of is cruel. Unlike obesity, fat people have a chance to not be fat, so if they are fat, they deserved to be laughed at. Unless they are nice people. Then they are spared. So as I always tell people, u can say im ugly. But u must never say im fat. I'll be more hurt if u said im fat, cuz it means im not doin anything about it and I should be laughed at. But when u say im ugly, i have no choice. I juz gotta live with it right?
either way its sad. I tink this is the reason for me feeling upset this few days. Been so stressed out and eating a lot, I tink Im putting on weight. But im too lazy to go exercise and spend all my free time sleeping away.
so im now fat and ugly. congrats luisa. good job.
argg.....
I hate her so much for making fun of people that are not of pure parentage. I wish I can post her picture up so she can be ostracized. But I will not. Cuz whatever I say here, I will forget bout it in a while. and when I see this post, I might regret it. so well. its like the other person I hate so much, how much I wanna say about her, I refrain from letting out my harsh words, no matter how much I want to, cuz I know someday, I'll regret all the mean words I've put down in writing. and there will be no way to erase it. So for now, I shall try to forget the evil and wicked things those 2 girls have said and done, and try to forgive them. The girl who makes fun of people skin color takes the cake from the fat girl who is loud and irritating. loud and irritating who pisses the hell of lots of people versus a girl who tinks that being a pure chinese makes her better than anyone else.

I tink I should juz buy some new plants so I can start talking to them.
Im mad. Really really goin mad. and im still upset.
I wish I can run away from everyone and everything. There are wicked people all around and I dun wish to deal with them. Ken understands and see all that is happening, but there is nothing we can do. Im not the bitchy Luisa I used to be and I dun have the energy to deal with all this. I should juz continue to stay in hibernation to avoid all the bad aura outside my world. Yes, FOr now, I shall juz remain in my own world.