Suppose to be studying but feeling crappy.
I tink im goin to get anxiety attack because of my MDP paper. Bloody Stressful.
All information came too late and too little time to research. Super Pissed.
Been having weird nightmares the past few night. And by weird is really really sad but weird.
Dreamt that Ken made some girl pregnant while he was with me. I tink I might be worrying bout Michelle too much. =s
Feel better here, where I dun have any psychotic person viewing my thoughts and analysing my every move. Scary.
So here comes all the confessions. I feel so damn guilty for not putting in much effort in my revision. But Im really feeling damn sianz. And every minute that I force myself to read, my headache gets worse.
I Wanna go on a HOLIDAY. I wanna get away from here.
Why do I feel like Im pushing everyone away from me? HAve I been brought up to be by myself? I love my frens but somehow I so enjoy juz being on my own. I tink im weird and Im goin to cause my own downfall someday.
Im constantly depressed and can never be happy with what I have. Always envious of what people have and feel like I have nothing. I pursue things that can make me feel happier or even juz improve the quality of my life. But somehow, I still end up feeling empty inside.
Why do I feel like everyone else is doing better and happier than me? DO I feel sad? Nope. I dun feel unhappy. But I want more. I guess. Wanting more is what I want. Nothing is ever enough.
More is always expected of me and I can't fail. Never. WHen I fail in anything or simply give up, I get lectures from everyone.
I need a break.
I gotta learn from Fj, as long as its a pass. Im happy. Can I do that?? Tough life.
So many things I want.
I wanna:-
1. Travel. So jealous of those who get to travel so often and get to see the world. see new things. get the enjoy while Im stuck here. =(
2. I wanna have my own place. Some place I can call my own. No one calls the shots except me.
My 1.8mil dream (Dreams are all I have)
3. I wish to come out of my dead end job. Im so sick so tired of my job. I dun even know if I like my job? Why did I choose it? cuz of the short and stable working hours. Cuz of the less stressful life? Can I handle more? Maybe not at this poing of my life when I struggling with my studies?
I feel like such a laggard. SHould have done much more last time. Wait till now before I do something!!!
ARgggg, I feel so sick with my life. Im making myself depressed. My life sucks.
I really really wanna gotta do something nice for myself before I lose my soul.
I need some pampering before I go crazy and might juz become a zombie in this meaningless world.
How can some people be so happy everyday? Don't they feel tired of putting up a front? Or they simply dun have any hardships or sadness or problems in their life? Then if its true, I truly envy them. I guess.
BUt I like being sad. I kinda like being depressed. Makes me feel human.
Emo!~!
Or Freak?~?
P/s Posting pics so fun~ wheeee~ so much easier than LJ. Love it Love it Love it.
I know Im mad.
