The heat is up

The weather has been extremely cruel the past few days. Its damn unbearable and torturous. Cold showers have been a way of life lately.

It feels good to have school break. But its only for a week.... sigh.
So starting from May, I have exactly 1 year before I graduate. I can't wait......

Realize that I have minimal savings. I tink my financial status is a negative balance. =S
Was lamenting bout it to my colleagues, and they decided to enlighten me with their knowledge.
I spend too much money.
As if I did not know that~!!
I know I spend too much and a lot. But I can't help it. Im a shopaholic and I can't find the cure.
Ken says I spend money like its gonna expire. Now that's funny.
But ultimately I would like to have some savings but somehow, I save to spend it all away anyway.
So whats the point. *sigh* I give up.

At least what is helping to save now is that all the clothes are so ugly. Nothing pretty to own. Boring.
So I save a little now from not buying clothes but I juz bought a new pair of shoes... wheeeee..... =D
And Im going for a 3Hr Spa next Sat. I tink I deserve a treat after my exams. right?
And bonus is not here yet.... arggg.... damn. this sux.
Im broke.

Lazy Sunday noon~

Feels so good to be home bumming around on a Sunday afternoon. No books. No lecture notes.

I must thoroughly enjoy myself this week before my school starts again. Bleah.

Going for mama's birthday dinner later on. Can't wait to see the little cutie. =D

This little cutie, Kayla

Im thinking what to do. Thinking of a short getaway. Prolly on a weekend or something.

But feel kinda lazy.

Sigh.

I juz dunnoe what I want.

Its back to work tomorrow.

So sianz

After one whole week of lazing around the house and stressing over exams, I feel so lethargic on going back to office tomorrow.

But of course, working is kinda better than exams. But studying is so much better than working. Contradicting??

I guess only a few people can truly understand how I feel.

At least I have Laughter Monday. Channel 18. =)

It kinda helps to get past the monday blues.

Well, well, im feeling happy at this moment which is a good thing right?

Yeah.

Oh yea, did not speak to Samuel in the longest time. I wonder how is he doin? =(

a little moment of Happiness.

Yeah~!!!

This is exactly how I felt after my last paper.... for this semester.

Im not confident of my last paper, but definitely glad that it is over. For now. =s

Spent the whole day in roaming town after exams. Watched Harold and Kumar.

It was hilarious.

My favourite part = Hello Kitty. LoL

Weather is hot. Making me irritated.

But how bad the weather is, can't change how relieved im feeling right now.

I feel like I can breathe again. =)

Roaming around town town reminded me why I did not step in town for such a long time. Crazy weather in the noon, too many people and too much traffic.

But I did had fun though, people watching and bitching with Keong. And of course juz spending time with Ken Baby, without worrying bout exams. =)

Had green apple ice blended with extra pearl.

Paid a visit to Van's shop at Far East but she wan not in. -.- But managed to catch up with Alisha at the shop anyways. Greeted Kegen as well.

Today was a pretty fruitful day, in a way.

But.

Home seems like such a better option.

~Home Sweet Home~

Blogspot is Gooood.....

Blogspot is damn cool la.

The many reminders on why I should not further my studies after my degree. I juz wanna be a housewife.

LoL

Stresssss Up =(

Its so freaking hot at home. Juz woke up from my slumber.
Suppose to be studying but feeling crappy.
I tink im goin to get anxiety attack because of my MDP paper. Bloody Stressful.
All information came too late and too little time to research. Super Pissed.

Been having weird nightmares the past few night. And by weird is really really sad but weird.
Dreamt that Ken made some girl pregnant while he was with me. I tink I might be worrying bout Michelle too much. =s

Feel better here, where I dun have any psychotic person viewing my thoughts and analysing my every move. Scary.

So here comes all the confessions. I feel so damn guilty for not putting in much effort in my revision. But Im really feeling damn sianz. And every minute that I force myself to read, my headache gets worse.
I Wanna go on a HOLIDAY. I wanna get away from here.

Why do I feel like Im pushing everyone away from me? HAve I been brought up to be by myself? I love my frens but somehow I so enjoy juz being on my own. I tink im weird and Im goin to cause my own downfall someday.
Im constantly depressed and can never be happy with what I have. Always envious of what people have and feel like I have nothing. I pursue things that can make me feel happier or even juz improve the quality of my life. But somehow, I still end up feeling empty inside.
Why do I feel like everyone else is doing better and happier than me? DO I feel sad? Nope. I dun feel unhappy. But I want more. I guess. Wanting more is what I want. Nothing is ever enough.
More is always expected of me and I can't fail. Never. WHen I fail in anything or simply give up, I get lectures from everyone.
I need a break.
I gotta learn from Fj, as long as its a pass. Im happy. Can I do that?? Tough life.

So many things I want.

I wanna:-

1. Travel. So jealous of those who get to travel so often and get to see the world. see new things. get the enjoy while Im stuck here. =(

2. I wanna have my own place. Some place I can call my own. No one calls the shots except me.

My 1.8mil dream (Dreams are all I have)

3. I wish to come out of my dead end job. Im so sick so tired of my job. I dun even know if I like my job? Why did I choose it? cuz of the short and stable working hours. Cuz of the less stressful life? Can I handle more? Maybe not at this poing of my life when I struggling with my studies?

I feel like such a laggard. SHould have done much more last time. Wait till now before I do something!!!

ARgggg, I feel so sick with my life. Im making myself depressed. My life sucks.

I really really wanna gotta do something nice for myself before I lose my soul.

I need some pampering before I go crazy and might juz become a zombie in this meaningless world.

How can some people be so happy everyday? Don't they feel tired of putting up a front? Or they simply dun have any hardships or sadness or problems in their life? Then if its true, I truly envy them. I guess.

BUt I like being sad. I kinda like being depressed. Makes me feel human.

Emo!~!

Or Freak?~?

P/s Posting pics so fun~ wheeee~ so much easier than LJ. Love it Love it Love it.

I know Im mad.

Testing Testing

Wheee....
A new space.

The past:
http://queerjaded.livejournal.com/