Pursuit of Happiness

Mixed Feelings - baby blues

2011-04-13T18:53:00.003+08:00

I feel totally and entirely sick and miserable. I feel like nobody understands. And I feel so guilty towards my sweet husband.

I so so tired of feeling sick. I just really want my health and energy back. Please please take away my nausea and vomiting. Its really really affecting me. I can't complain much to people around me, cuz its damn irritating. Plus people just keep saying 'its normal'. Pfft, its not freaking normal when u have to carry a freaking plastic bag around in your bloody Chanel bag and hope to God that you will not have to throw up some place where people will be disgusted. I just want to enjoy a nice meal without feeling like throwing up with every mouthful of food I take. I don't want to go through the whole day feeling nauseous. I don't want to walk for 5 mins and start to feel weak and giddy.

Im so miserable. Even my work is suffering. I dread going to work cuz I feel so uncomfortable at office. The journey to and fro is torturous and a real test of my control and mental strength. I know my colleagues think that im freaking useless or thinks that Im jus 'chao geng' at work. Im really seriously considering stopping work, but I can't lose my salary. how frustrating.

Websites have claim that it will soon come to an end and im suppose to feel better everyday. Im really crossing my fingers, toes and praying to dear God that it will come to an end. So i can go to work as usual. And get my life back.

Don't get me wrong. Im super happy and excited of having a baby. But the pregnancy period is really too torturous for me to feel blooming at all. All I wanna do everyday is sleep, sleep, sleep.

I just wanna get through this 9 months and carry my baby in my arms.

Now I might feel totally like shit and totally depressed. I must stay strong. Hubby says not to care what people in office says bout me. But I really don't like working this way. I really don't enjoy not doing my work well. I just have to try to hang on to my job, Save money in case I get the boot. And pray to God that all this will turn around soon.

Im so so envious of those who go thorugh their preganacy easily like nothing at all. Why am I not like that!!!!! Why must I have what 70% - 80% pregnant woman suffers - why can't I be the lucky few. I guess in life, you can't be lucky in everything.

But Im so blessed by God to have this child. So I have to count my blessings right? But does it really have to be so difficult. I swear any more of this and im going to have depression. I wish I can just stay home everyday and rest but I guess I don't have the luxury. Unless maybe hubby strike the lottery.

So until that day happens, i gotta drag my fatigue body to work and puke my guts out. if im lucky, i'll just have nausea all day long with no appetite to eat at all.

Sixth Avenue is a horrible place with no food to eat at all, which does not help with my nausea at all. So....

PLease God. God help me. Sometimes I feel like I cant hang on anymore.

I'm Married? I'm Married!!!!

2010-11-29T19:54:00.004+08:00

Wow! Im so married.... 1 month after the wedding and I still smile thinking bout it.

Finally all the prep work has come to an end. And it all boils down to one perfect day.

We activated a lot of people and everyone has brought they best to the table and everything was perfect!

Even God helped us out by giving us good weather, great health and loving family and friends.

I couldn't ask for more.

I feel so blessed surrounded by great friends and loving family. I love every single one of them. My family.... cousins..... everyone was so beautiful that day.

My sisters, Samuel :P, Jac, Alicia, Yvonne, Tiffany, Jarlyn, Nicole, Hannah & Meiqi. U all were so supportive throughout my preparations. I really really really appreciate it.

Poor Meiqi even fell sick. :(

The brothers, were cool to be all hyped up and sporting.

My loving husband, whom put in so much effort to make my perfect wedding come true. I jus had to say what I want, and he would do whatever he could to make things happen.

Like my candy bar, my tea lights, fairy lights. U give me everything I asked for. I love u baby.

I pray our love would only get stronger as time goes by. Its hard work and Im willing to work. hehehe

Back to reality, im not happy at work. I keep falling sick no matter what vitamins and stuff I take. I think my mental health is suffering. I hate not knowing stuff and not learning things fast enough. I feel handicapped. argg, so frustrating. I need to get my bearings right. Again.

I hate starting all over again. I dun like moving on to a new place. Im gonna try and hang on.

Why cant i just be happy somewhere and work for the rest of my life..... this suck.

I hate being an adult. I wanna go back to schoool...

Actually not really, how can I afford all my pretty clothes without working. Damn, not possible.

So I guess its work again tomorrow.

Pfft.

2010-09-19T19:42:00.002+08:00

Haven been here for a long time.....

hmmmm...... what shall I update? I realised that whenever people see me now, they only ask me how's my wedding preparation. All I can answer is..... "Like that lor".

Im like a month away and I seriously still dunnoe what Ken & I are doing about the wedding. A little here and there. Maybe we're just counting on a BIG miracle.

We're so caught up with work, barely have time to do any wedding plans and preparations. Kenneth works on weekends and I feel so lazy on weekends. Gah! So worried!!! Worried bout what? I dunnoe!

Having a really swollen eye right now. Dunnoe whatssup with my stupid eyeball. Now I gotta wear glasses to work. UGLY! I hope the swelling goes down. BooHOo.

I feel thankful and grateful to those who put in lots of effort for my wedding. Very very thankful for them. I just pray... everything WILL go well......

Work again tomorrow. Give me strength.

Hello Kitty gets Emo too....

2010-06-28T10:44:00.003+08:00

Its Monday and Im home.... Feels kinda good. :) But im alone, cuz everything was so sudden Kenneth was unable to take leave with me.

I tendered my resignation on Monday and my last day was on Thurs cuz of the leave I have to clear. Now out of a sudden, I have nothing to do with no plans. Prolly I should just rest and get ready for the new challenge ahead.

I feel kinda worried and scared. Yet looking forward to my new job as well. Have so much mixed feelings within me.

Im like super super broke. Again. I realise im forever broke. Sigh. its useless of me to say things like, I should stop buying clothes, I should not buy shoes, cuz it DOES NOT WORK. It only makes me sad. So well, I should just go through life broke. :) Be strong.

I lurrrvvvvveeeee my new car. Although its not the colour I wanted initially (Yellow), the more I look at it, I love it. It blends well with all the other cars on the road. Like a TAXI. hee hee. But I still love my car.

Im so bored. What should I do..... Time for movie marathon and drama serials. WooHoo!!

P/S: Please pray for my wedding preparations.... Kenneth & I are damn slack! Die! We need a BIG MIRACLE for things to go well.....

Gush~ I feel like im 15 again

2010-06-06T20:51:00.003+08:00

I Love You!! Hee Hee. I wish I can see you face to face. My eye candy.

Of course my no. 1 love is still Edison Chen, but since he is out of the media for an indefinite period. I still have my Xiao Zhu to look at. Wheeee.......

Im suffering from my Sunday Night mood swings. Back to office tomorrow. Just thinking bout it gives me diarhoea. Bleah. Feel so tired. Didn't sleep well the past few nights. Too many things going through my head. Work, money.. money, work. health. wedding. Zzzzz

sick

2010-04-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

I have been extremely sick since Friday. The start of the long weekend that I have been looking forward to. *grrr*

I have been lying in bed unable to move and walk around due to high fever. Brain almost got cooked.

Thanks baby for staying by my side and wiping me down with ice packs. *loves*

Could not take it and finally went to see a doctor on Sunday morning. Doctor gave 2 more days mc cuz i could not recover in time to go back to work. And yes, I slept the whole 2 days away as well.

I finally got some strength to get out of my room and sit in my living room. And its back to work tomorrow.

I have fallen sick so often even since I started work at OCBC. dunnoe what is the matter with me. Its kinda frustrating.

But from what I heard, Im not the only one on MC. seems that all the checkers are also on MC. There is a nasty nasty virus at work and its making all of us ill. Junice mentioned that they have sprayed dettol around our work stations already. Hopefully I'll not catch the virus again since I have barely recovered.

Im choosing my wedding gown next week!!! Im so excited. I hope I hope I hope I can find the right one! whee...

*crosses fingers*

Feeling giddy again. gotta lie down.

2010-03-20T12:21:00.002+08:00

i feel a small pang of sadness. Wondering what could I have done differently.

I feel you slipping away, but there's nothing I can do on my part.

Wondering am I the problem or are u the problem.

sometimes I feel alright. Sometimes I totally forget bout how it used to be.

But when things remind me of u, I feel sad knowing that im no longer a friend but have been categorized into a passer-by.

I dunnoe what I should do as Im much too shy. and im extremely not outgoing enough to initiate anything.

plus im much to tired most of the days. weekends i spend recuperating. but i never turn down an invitation from you but I dun get them anymore. i dunnoe what to say to u anymore. Its as if, we do not have anything to talk about anymore. Its kinda sad really.

Im so stressed at work im sinking into depression. Im suppose to be happy planning for my wedding, but am much too stress bout all other things.

I really wish that u guys will still come to my wedding even if we do not even see each other for more than a year.

thanks anyway, for helping me through my darkest times. I will never forget your kindness and friendship that you have given me during that period of time. Im always around if u need me. wishing u the best in everything.

long weekend?

2010-03-19T16:15:00.003+08:00

Seriously, what a way to start off the weekend. Had a toothache last night and decided to make a trip to the dentist as the pain was kinda irritating.

Simply thought it was a cavity that needed filing. But dentist said my wisdom tooth was decayed and needed to be extracted at that moment. I was in shock. I didn't even know I had wisdom teeth!!

Now my mouth feels like I was punched really hard. Plus im really really hungry but I cant eat hamburgers and stuff. Such a torture. And next month I gotta go remove another wisdom tooth. HELP!

Im so happy I got my paige boy and flowergirls. Kenneth and I went around looking for flowergirl dresses and we found a whole lot of them. So cute and adorable the dresses!! I can't wait to get them for Kayla.

I will be selecting my gown in April. Really excited bout it but worried that I will not be able to find a nice evening gown. Nice evening gowns are so difficult to find as from what I have been seeing, they make me look as if im going to perform at a ge tai. -.- *crosses fingers*

im really starting to worry a little bit bout the photographer. Well, she was introduced by a fren that just had their wedding celebration. I managed to take a look at their photos and there were bad! I mean, the photos were well taken, but the quality is bad!! im so upset. But i really dun understand how such a good camera takes such pictures. Im really hoping the photos will turn out well for me.

Im so happy that Samuel and Shawn are really excited bout me selecting my gown. I feel happy because of the support they are giving. Sometimes everything can be overwhelming cuz of the negative things people say. and sometimes it gets really frustrating. But through concern and support from people around, it kinda makes things so much better.

Thanks Samuel for caring. It helps a lot. :)

ok. my tooth.... or rather the lack of it is making my gum ache. time to take painkillers laced with codeine. WooHoo. I lurve feeling drowsy on a rainy day. nope. Im not a junkie. just lazy.

say hello to better night's sleep. wheee

2010-02-27T13:47:00.004+08:00

Finally! My Sealy mattress is here. so shiok! but i can't seem to nap without Baby by my side. So sian. I rather be washing my hair or doing a facial.

its the end of Feb already. 2 months down, 8 months to go to my wedding day. And I feel like I haven done much. Im such a bad planner. Plus it doesn't help much that Kenneth and I are both such laid back pple. Pfft.

I don't even know what we should do. People keep saying we must be really busy planning for the wedding. But truth is.... I tink im busier with work and MJ in between trying to spend time with Baby among our hectic schedule.

Im kinda getting worried that the whole wedding will be screwed up and a big disaster. Im praying hard that everything will just go smoothly. *please God*

Thank God! We got our queue no for Dawson @ Queenstown. Freaking no 44. Whats the odds! Just when Ken & I are planning to buy over the 3rm Potong Pasir flat because its more affordable and forfeit our Dawson plans, we gotta have this queue no. Now we're in a big big dilemma.

The moment we saw the queue no, all practical plans of budgeting and saving just went out the window. Im so excited bout the high ceiling and balcony!!!!

The cons bout Dawson:-

1. Expensive

2. Small

Pros:-

1. High Celing

2. Balcony

3. Location

4. MRT not LRT

im so excited. so excited. wheeeeee?

should i get Dawson or not? how? how? how?

im so hungry. gotta eat

weekend. please don't go so soon

2010-02-20T03:22:00.002+08:00

FINALLY. Weekend is here again. Please please don't go by so soon.

Just finished my mahjong game. :) So happy. Baby gotta work tomorrow. But I'll be going for my facial to save my ugly pimple face. GAH.

Im so freaking broke. Yup. Even though its just after CNY, but for a fact, I did not get much ang pows. Ang pows seems to be shrinking every year. Plus the fact that Kenneth & I lost quite a bit at Blackjack. But managed to recover a little from MJ. So well.

im broke broke broke with so much stuff to pay. Just gave a deposit for the photographer & videographer. So expensive!! weddings are such expensive events. Zzzzz.

The one good thing today. My leave is blocked. Wheeehooo..... Im going to Hong KOng. I can't wait for my break. But first. I gotta save money. No more shopping! At all. Plus I gotta get through month of March. No PH!!!! Die.....

Second thing - I definitely and very determine to lose weight. I must lose weight. Im getting a little fleshy. A little chubby. Which means... Im getting FAT! im so sad.

I need to lose weight. I neeeeeed to lose weight.

I just bought 30 bucks worth of chocolates and candies from Candy Empire. I wanna shoot myself. So sinful. BUT I CAN'T help myself. :(

how? how? how? I went to gym yesterday. Ran 5 mins on the threadmill and I almost collapsed. Decided to do some weights. Did bout 50 reps, muscle felt achy. Went to do the step master. Another 5 mins, my lungs could barely get oxygen. Decided to stop and do weights again. Did like 20 reps. Muscle couldn't take it. I gave up.

Went to Sakae Sushi to fill my tummy. Spent like 20mins at the gym including changing time, spent 1hr eating.

Im such a failure!!!

ok. so sleepy.

yahoooooo

2010-02-13T04:24:00.002+08:00

Like finally! weekend is here... wheeee.....

work is super duper torturous. If I have to deal with another crazy customer screaming in my ear. I swear I will freaking vomit! I hate it when they say, "I wan to complain!" You see.... I really dun understand what this sentence means. What are u trying to say? U wan to complain to someone else? U wanna complain to me? Or wanna complain bout me? Or complain bout the issue? Sometimes customers really make me confused.

Then after they finish complaining they say they wanna go elsewhere. GO LA! I really really dun care! Its frustrating, irritating and tiring. I hope Joeren stays. Or else its really gonna be crap without those girls.

Other than that my life is pretty ok. after work, that is.

I have been waiting so long for this short break from work. Im so happy its finally here. But Baby still gotta work tomorrow. Sian.

My face is breaking out. Must be too stressful at work. Gah! Im so ugly now. :(

Im not a very loyal user of FB. But its actually quite a interesting platform! Through FB I found a guy I used to know during my growing up years. Im so happy!! Although he looks so diff, it feels.... nice to 'see' him again. I dunnoe why. All i remembered was he was such a sweetheart! :)

CNY is such a tiring festival. Going places. Smiling. Making small talk with relatives who dun really care bout u. But the good thing is.... spending time with love ones! I wanna eat my mama's mee sua. Yummy!

so sleepy.

Lazy Sat...

2010-01-23T16:52:00.002+08:00

Its such a lazy lazy afternoon, what a pity Kenneth is at work but at least he's gonna be off soon.

Anyways, after the past months of torture, I tink im finally getting used to working in an office. I tink i might actually like my work after all.... of course being at the branch is what I really enjoy. But I guess I just forgot bout the shit that come with working at the branch. The working hours and the siao siao pple.

I still deal with a lot of siao siao pple now. But Im still deciding which is worse. Being screamed at on the phone or being screamed at in your face.

The Piano is finally our of my home and I have more space now. Now I need some ideas on what I should do with the corner.

I feel happy that today I spent some time with MaMa and she finally let me drive her car! She was tired after all the driving and walking that she surrendered her car to me. WooHoo. Its really easy driving a auto car but her car is huge! I had lunch with her and spent some time shopping. She wanted to see the ballroom that Kenneth and I choose. She really loved it which is goood.

I really love that woman. She's just so cute! Going to some fish farm for dinner. Looking forward to the company but not the place Nic chose. -.-

....

2010-01-13T18:00:00.004+08:00

work is horrid horrid horrible. Im struggling everyday. I feel stuck and tortured.

Mon to Fri are absolute torture.

But I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. when im back at UOB I'll prolly be miserable too. Will I? I really really dunnoe....

I dunnoe what is the matter with me.... am I juz lazy....

but im definitely not giving up so easily.

i must hang on.....

on the other hand, im really really excited bout being engaged.

but its really quite a hassle to plan for a wedding not to mention EXPENSIVE.

everything is money money money.

*SIGH*

the place that we have managed to booked is Grand Copthorne. the ballroom is really really pretty. which I like.

but then the reality of planning for a wedding hits me when I realise that I need to source for a whole lot of stuff...

photographers

videographer

bridal shops+photo shoots

make up artist (settled)

caterer

bridal car

etc etc

*faints*

I have been dreaming of getting married for so long, and now that it is finally happening.

I feel unprepared and worried and scared and wish I can postpone it further.

I feel like I need more time to prepare and plan.

people able to help, please help me and recommend good people for stuff stated above.

it would save me the trouble of sourcing around. :) but not too expensive please.

Happy!

2009-12-25T09:18:00.002+08:00

This is one of my best christmas ever. :)

Im still slightly overwhelmed... its still all so surreal to me...

Having my closest people around me, I felt so contented and blessed.

Kenneth, Samuel and Keong did a very very good job of keeping me in the dark. :p

Never knew that Kenneth could pull off something like this.

Im impressed.

I can't express the thanks that I have to give to Sam and Keong for sacrificing their Christmas eve to be part of my blissful moment.

Thank you baby for all the effort.

I love u all!

HoHOHo

God is good. THank God for his providence and it was a miracle that Ken's parents came to church with us last night too. I was so happy they were there.

Emo-tions :)

2009-11-02T17:29:00.002+08:00

Today is Kenneth's first day of work. He sounds bored. First days are always like that.

Im soooooo not looking forward to my first day. I have one more day left to slack and I dun want it to end!!!

I went for my regular brazilian wax and followed by my facial. Since ken drove the van to work I had to go everywhere by cab and mrt.

The facial feels so good. Ahhh.. SHiok!

I dun want to go back to work!!!!! boooohooooo. But no work no money. I wish i can earn money doin nothing. blah.

had a small tiny teeny weeny quarrel with Ken yesterday. thank goodness it was resolved quicky. cant stand being angry or fed up or sad. too tiring. I want to be happy everyday! :) Thanx for makin me such a happy girl every single day baby!

Wed im starting work.... hopefully the job is fine and I will have good colleagues. *crosses fingers*

the past one month spent bumming around was GOOOOOD. But time passes too fast. too too fast. And I haven even went for a holiday. hmmp. hopefully we will both do well in our jobs. wheeee.

sometimes I feel like I always wanna hear the truth. but yet sometimes Im afraid I can't handle the truth. Sometimes I know im Too in my own world. Prolly got to do with the facts that Im a only child. But yet why im not a complete weirdo... i have to thank my cousins that I grew up with. I was always home alone with my maid in a big house and no one to play with. I would play with my Barbie dolls. I had a lot of Barbie dolls. And talk to myself.

But thankfully I had my cousins to play badminton, catch spiders, play catching, nintendo. So I managed to grow up pretty normal. Juz a little weird.

But ocassionally I would still talk to myself. Kenneth has on many occasions caught me talking to myself. So embarrassing. but after all this, i still have to say. I feel safer in my own world. The real world is so harsh. So scary full of bad pple. I dun really like them. I tink I'll just stay here. :)

ok time for dinner.

Another item on my wish list

2009-11-01T15:26:00.002+08:00

Number 56) Go to korea for plastic surgery.
Almost every korean girl seems to be like super hot, super cute, super sexy or super somthing. I figure I could go there to buy a new face, hopefully look like that. heehee

I am a fat pig

2009-10-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

Kenneth is out playing golf and Im all alone at home letting my thoughts run wild. Which I kinda like. Time to myself... to spend emo-ing.

I was suppose to go with him but I wanted to stay home to catch PCK on TV. I know... I know. Im damn auntie.
After a almost exactly a month of staying home and not working. I have to admit... I AM still pretty lost... I dunnoe what to tink, Im juz enjoying my butter hokkaido squid. Yummy. Im really really getting fat. With all the junk that im munching on every single day with no exercise. Pretty soon im getting cellulite. The very thought of that just makes me wanna crrrryyyy........boohoohooo... *munch munch*

what do we have to do to be very happy? what do we have to own to be very happy?? what do we have to have?? I said very happy. Cuz im happy now... but somehow I need more. more money? actually make that money since I dun have any now. Or a big car????? We're kinda eyeing the Hyundai i30. But cannot afford. :( or a job that gives satisfaction??
Jobs that gives satisfaction pays low. and those im intersted to have, I have no experience. And those that I can apply for I.. im not excited bout it. this sucks.

this sotong strips are good!!!! can't stop chewing on them.........

empty thoughts

2009-09-28T18:24:00.003+08:00

I seriously have too much time on my hands and starting to tink too much. I have fallen sick therefore I can't go out to meet clients. And I can't do anything much cuz im so damn weak. Im so bored.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i wish to back to how I once was. little expectations. while working i felt lost in a never ending race. everyday was just looking forward to lunch. after lunch look forward to finishing work and after work so not looking forward to waking up the next morning. Such a vicious cycle for 3 years.

Hopefully i'll use this time to tink bout life... tink bout what Im becoming. take some time to spend time with people I love.

kenneth and I are such different people. I wonder what is it that makes us able to last all this while.
He is like super outdoors and I hate the sun.
He is super good at keeping friendships with many people while I only need a few close friends.
He is so positve and Im super negative bout everything.
He is so healthy and strong and Im always sick.

I love being alone... watching movies. I love being alone reading my storybooks. But Im glad that Ken came into my life and introduced so many interesting characters to me. =)

Talking bout interesting characters... I miss my friends. But its like not the same anymore.. Maybe it's me that have changed??? Most prolly its me. kinda sad tough but I know theres always the usual few that I can count on. as what I always say. I dun need a lot. I just need a few good ones. =D most of my friends around me are such sweethearts. I really really appreciate u guys a lot. I wonder what I would do without u guys. Sam, Jac, Alicia..... etc

I need to recover quick....

sick sick sick

2009-09-27T20:34:00.004+08:00

im having a migraine attack again. this sux.

feeling super super sick and weak. Just when I do not have free medical anymore... I fall sick. boo.

Went for 'guasha' this morning. really cannot take it anymore. blocked ears and migraine. SO XIN KU!!!

thank goodness for Kenneth. I was so weak I can barely eat on my own. After each mouth of noodles I gotta lie down. So in the end I laid in bed while kenneth spoon fed me. Thank you baby. What would I do without u.

hopefully i'll get well soon. Please God.... Heal me... I cannot take it anymore... Im so tired of sleeping. =(

Celebration??

2009-09-11T11:20:00.002+08:00

Im like counting down to my unemployed days.... part of me feels relieved, part of me feels scared. A little part of me feels excited of whats to come.

Today marks the day of another chapter of my life. Where Ken and I stop having regular income. its such a scary thought but yet..... i have yet to feel the worry. Instead im looking forward to my break.
Yesterday my boss & colleagues came together to have dinner to "celebrate" my leaving the bank. I feel sad to leave that bunch of people. After working with them all this time, it is indeed difficult and sad to not see them everyday and talk, gossip and complain. But I tink it is something I have to do.......

Hopefully God will bless me and everything will go well. Wheee...

I finally did it~

2009-08-23T17:51:00.002+08:00

I finally did it. I finally am leaving my job. It wasn't a easy decision, but it was something i had to do.

And after handing up the letter, i felt relieved. I felt free...... something which have been weighing down on me for so long... juz disappeared.

But the feeling only lasted for a while. Now im thinking of what comes next.

Whats my next move?

Many people says I should find a job before leaving. Some say I should not leave.

Well.... I don't know. But im crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. =D

I bloody suffered from sleepless night last nite. It was so torturous!!! Now its a damn bloody lethargic Sunday for me where im so tired and can't bring myself to do anything else except be a couch potato. I did not even go to church! argg. now my throat hurts. my face is itchy. my nose is running. All because of lack of sleep. THis sux!

The worst thing is I NEED TO WORK TOMORROW. I have 3 weeks left to my notice period and I am so looking forward to it.

bleah

2009-07-26T15:56:00.003+08:00

I got really nothing fun or exciting to write about. Haven done anything new. Anything fun. anything exciting. I haven done anything at all for the past few weeks.

Weekdays have been spent working and weekends have been spent alone.

I don't exactly feel lonely when Ken is working. I feel....... bored.

But when im at work I feel bored too. Its like I suddenly feel so bored with everything. I really dun know what to do.

I spent Sat with FJ playing mj cuz Kenneth gotta work. Now now its Sunday and I spent my Sunday cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. Cuz im bored. The weather is too hot to go anywhere plus im broke. Staying home alone really sucks.

But I know, I know Ken gotta work and Im really okie with it. But im juz BORED! I tink i should just take a nap now. I wish I have people to play MJ with me in the afternoon...

Caleb is at Batam now. So annoying. Dunnoe one mth go Batam how many times. I so jealous. me wanna go too.

Received a postcard from Keong in Japan. I tink its been bout 3 weeks he have been away. So I heard they would be moving to China next. Freaking lucky ass those guys. Get to travel to different countries for months. *sigh* me wanna to0.

Actually im still dying for a white x'mas. A nice, quiet, white x'mas. hmmmm.... sounds good. could this year be the year?????

I really dislike my job now. not fun anymore.... I need a new environment. Im passing day by day. Hour by hour. sometimes the days are so long. sometimes the hours pass so fast.

What are we living for? There's gotta be more to life than this.

2009-07-15T22:44:00.002+08:00

im going blind looking at jobstreet.com.

I juz feel like I wanna run. I feel like im stuck, cornered.

Sometimes i feel so fed up. Sometimes i feel so tired. Sometimes I feel like running.

Hopefully, this few hours of staring at the website would have some life changing results.

*crosses fingers*

emo monday

2009-07-13T20:31:00.003+08:00

I swear my days are just passing me by. today is such a shitty day.

I was suppose to go for my pilates class but right at the very very last min - I had a migraine. Im now alone at home with a pounding headache with no appetite for dinner. argggg....

Kenneth is out working. I really hope things will go well for him. Hopefully he brings home good news later.

This laptop is totally gonna crash. but im too broke to buy a new one!!! I promise myself I will stop spending so much money. save money. save money.

I really really wish to have a break from work. Im getting really tired. I feel like I dunnoe where im headed everyday. Which explains the reason where Im so emo everyday.

I keep dreaming of goin on a holiday. Somewhere near would be great too. Maybe somewhere with a beach? or snowy mountains.

Sigh. But cant. Kenneth gotta work and earn money. I support him wholeheartedly but I really wish to have a holiday. WHY AM I SO POOR!!!

Allan is getting married. the preparations sounds really fun and exciting. =) kinda happy for him. I wanna get married too..... before i get old and crumpled.

A friend uploaded my secondary school pics on Facebook! wahahaha.... I have never seen that pic before in my life. Its like 12 years ago... damn. so much has changed. I looked so carefree and innocent. thinking I have like a bright future ahead of me. And now? Im stuck in a bank. U never know what life has in store for you.

But I guess no matter how shitty life turns out to be. Im glad God loves me enough to keep me by his side. So no matter how shitty life turns out to be. I still have God. wheeeee.......

2009-07-02T18:40:00.002+08:00

im not really in the best of moods the past few days. Feel really bored and lost.
am in a damn emo mood the whole day... argg.

2009-06-15T18:58:00.002+08:00

This year's birthday... I gotta say its one of the best ever since I turned 18.
Good food, great company and of course... FANTASTIC pressies!!
I loved every single present that I received this year.

I lurvvvvvveeee the porter bag. Thank you all who contributed to it.

I soooo lurveeeeeee the key chain from Monica.

I loveeeeee the Hello Kitty lamp too!!!!

I *heart* u all so much!
U guys make my life great and I can't imagine my life without u guys.

And to finish up. I had a sucky day at work. And Im feeling damn bloody teary today. Must be the PMS. damn the bleeding.

A very Pink Birthday....

2009-06-09T22:02:00.004+08:00

My birthday would be up soon... and well... although im happy that my birthday is coming but it kinda feels the same as any other day. I do not have the same excitement I felt when I was young. prolly cuz now it juz means im getting old. Bleah.
But im still gonna try to have a Happy Birthday. =)
To make this birthday a Happy one... I wanna thank my baby!!
Baby, thanx so much for the bicycle. Its really something different. Something I never expect in a million years. It was really a surprise. A really good surprise to find it in the bedroom. Cuz somehow u know that I want a bicycle except cycle to where.... I have no idea yet. hehe
I love it! Its so cuuuutteeeeeeeeeeee..........

FJ!!! U another sweetie. Thank you. thank you. thank you. for the gift. Im so happy!!! Wheeee.....

I love my gifts, Thank you baby, Thank you FJ. HUGZ!!!

FJ, dun be sad k? I will always be around..... to PLAY MJ WITH U!!! =D

anyways, recently i've been so busy with stuff. Busy with my pilates classes, resistance training classes, gym, swimming, work....

Kenneth is also pretty busy with his property stuff, barely get to spend quality time with him. But I wan him to do well and this is his time to shine. So I shall juz keep myself busy and pray that my bf starts earning money. Wheee... then we can go for holiday!

I hate my job. its getting worse. juz completed a powerpoint for big boss and now I gotta do a poster. JIU WO AH!! This sunday I gotta go back to work for system testing. Pffftt. This sucks. The suckier part? I got a party at my own home to celebrate Jac & my bday and I will be late for it. ARGGG!!!

But nevertheless, im looking forward to seeing the gang, its been a while. so well, hopefully it will be fun!

2009-05-10T19:07:00.003+08:00

I miss my bf!!! Especially more when Im sick and home alone. boohoohoo

Anyways. Finally!!! its all done and over with. Wheeee....

Got my results and Im very pleased with it. Its more than what I hoped for. Got distinctions for both my modules. Truly truly glad. THANK GOD!

Started my fitness classes and gym sessions last week. Since the first lesson, I have been walking around everyday with an aching abdomen and aching thighs. But Im taking my first step towards a healthy lifestyle. Feels good sweating it out, which is something I have not done for many many years.

Its a Sunday and Kenneth is back in Tekong. This sucks. But well, we bought a new tv!!!! So cool! Its something we both wanted to buy for a pretty long time but could not bear to. But since now the price is right, we bought without any hesitation. And guess what, Im broke again. But still happy. =)

So now im home with my new 37" TV and there is no nice shows on tv. argggg. -.-"" still ended up watchin mobtv on the laptop.

back to work tomorrow and im soooooo not looking forward to it. Feeling really sick since last nite. and have laid in bed the whole day.... but im still feeling really sucky.

Hope I will feel much better tomorrow to be able to make for my fitness class....*sigh*

The show S Factor is getting really exciting, as in bitchy exciting. Its..... entertaining if I have to say. Really, goin to such extents for the approval of men. GAH.

Wheeepie............

2009-05-02T12:34:00.002+08:00

Exams have been over for over a week... and everyday after is full of activities to do. I LOVE IT.

I love not worrying bout exams, bout projects, bout school..... wheeeepeeeee

But being toooo free also means I got more time to spend more money. Which is bad. =(

I've been spending too much recently and gotta start controlling again.

I've signed up for a fitness package with Joycelyn. I feel so healthy already!! Im goin for pilates, kickboxing, gym, hip-hop class.... Im so excited!!

Had a surprised party last nite to celebrate Mama's birthday as well as mother's day. Was cool hanging with my cousins and family the entire day. I feel so happy when I get to see my cousins and grandma. =D I *heart* them. Was suppose to join Sam and the rest at Cafe Del Mar, but was unable to make it cuz grandma got drunk juz drinking 1 glass of wine. But the wine alcohol content was pretty strong. Felt a bit aimless after the party so headed down to Alicia's place for MJ!!!! Wooohooo

Played till i could barely keep my eyes open.

So fast its finally Sat. I got a little time to pen my thoughts down as im washing Kenneth's dirty laundry while he went rock climbing with frens.

There are so many things that I have planned that I always pushed to after my exams. Now its finally the end of my exams and my hoping that I can clear both my modules. Now Its time to start doin the things which I plan to do. Firstly doin some minor redecorating at home. wheee

4 more days...

2009-04-21T01:15:00.004+08:00

im having the worst days of my life... maybe not the worst but still terrible. I abolutely hate exams, I hate studying.
I have 4 more days to go before Im freeeee.......
I cant wait.
The stress and anxiety.
Actually, I know I really should be studying. I really really should be, But i feel so sian~!!! when i sit down and stare at my notes.
Even my body starts to shut down.
For every 5mins of reading, I take an hour nap. Arggg... I feel so frustrated with myself. But I juz cant stop watching tv, playing games on Facebook. ITs an absolute nightmare. Ken is not around either which makes things worse. No one to accompany me. to calm me down. to encourage me... =(
But well, im a strong girl. I can do this.
I Promise tomorrow I will put in more solid studying time. yeah rite. But still I will try not to sleep so much.

Wish ken was around. I feel so alone at home. So SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish i could sleep and all my exams would be over when i wake up.
This is my final lap.
This is my homerun.
I need to do it.
God please help me through.
God grant me perserverance.
God give me strength.
Thank you GOd.

phew

2009-03-15T01:52:00.004+08:00

my mid-terms are over. but nothing to be happy about. Its time to rush two major reports, then comes my final exams.
I feel like I can't breathe. But im thankful for the little break that I have after my paper today. A little time for me to let loose and not think and worry bout anything concerning school or work.
Ended up playing mahjong. wheeee....
I wonder why am I so broke all the time. when I haven spent a lot of money recently. pay came and gone just like that. Total bills came up 900+ boohoohoo. to make matters worse, increments and promotions will be put on hold. this totally sucks. but i guess I juz gotta be glad that I still have a job? when i really really dun really feel like working? I dunnoe. Im tired, and confused. and awfully stressed.
Im just looking forward to end April. GOd, give me strength and perseverence.

Anxious

2009-03-02T09:01:00.002+08:00

My mid-term exams are starting this week and I have not started studying. Instead Im at work. It sucks to be a part time student with a full time job. Bleah.
Pls hurry hurry.... get me through this 2 months.

Temptations

2009-02-27T16:55:00.002+08:00

I really wanna go for a holiday. I wanna go on a road trip. Drive around Australia on our own. I tink it will be pretty fun. Tiring but still fun.

I totally forgot that I needed to do research. All I can tink of now is HRE (Human Resource Economics). I have always been very lousy at maths and now I gotta do econs. Bleah~! i feel so sian ah.

Still considering to head down to Zouk tonite. But I promised myself, today no matter what I need to study. At least a little..... as if it will make a difference. But at least I wun feel guilty right?

Im goin to play my pet now. again.

Addicted

2009-02-23T14:22:00.006+08:00

Im addicted to 2 things at the moment.

Firstly Im addicted to Mahjong. I keep wanting to play.

Secondly, Im addicted to Facebook's Pet Society. My pet is soooo cute.

I can't help myself from playing with my pet everyday. I wanna buy so many things for my pet. Can somebody pls buy the maid's bonnet for me pls.....

When weekend comes, Mahjong seems to always be part of our plans.

But I guess Im happy everyday. I can't imagine myself clubbing every weekend anymore. its boring to me already. Same ol shit. Prolly clubbed too much last time. Or maybe im juz getting old. I rather hang out with frens on the weekend over coffee. Wake up early the next morning for bfast.

Or play MJ till early in the morning, laughing and enjoying each other's company. It great! Its totally the perfect way to past time, Im comfortable at home. No need to spend money. Superb.

Facebook is such a poweful tool which enables me to source out all the potential MJ kakis out there. Wheeee...

2 more months of school. From next week onwards, it will be the most stressful time for me with mid-terms, presentations, projects, and of course my final exams. And not forgetting that I still gotta work.

Kenneth will be goin back to Tekong soon. =(

I can' t wait. I can't wait. I can't wait to go home.

.....

2009-02-22T06:06:00.003+08:00

I've been playing MJ quite often recently. I have to admit Im a little hooked on it despite being absolutely terrible in it. But I believe with practise, I can do it~! All I need is my Hello Kitty MJ tiles to motivate me. hee hee.

Kenneth brought me shopping today so I could spend some money after controlling my shopaholic urges for so long. I had fun walking around Suntec City, looking at clothes and shoes. There is just something about shopping malls that cheers me up. Wanted to catch a movie, but was tempted by the offer of MJ, so headed home instead and played till 6am in the morning. Zzzzz

I allowed myself to just let loose for today and tomorrow. When Monday comes, its a whole new week with work and classes and reports and my mid-term is coming up. I can't stop worrying bout my exams. I can't take it anymore. I wan to NOT worry bout reports and exams. Persevere Luisa. Just a little while more...... Hang on there.... I need motivation.

I need a holiday.

Just another day after all??

2009-02-14T20:52:00.004+08:00

Its Valentines's Day and Im alone at home doin my report and preparing my presentation. THis sucks. =( Don't feel like watching a movie with the many other couples in Singapore. YOu watch movie on a normal day, so what so special about catching a movie on Valentine's day. Isn't there anything unique to do. Some say everyday is Valentine's day, that's what lazy people say. I dun wish to go out and eat at restaurants so that they can exploit u + the fact that Im broke. =p

What I really feel like doin is buying a bunch of roses and standing at Orchard road and selling them at 10 bucks a stalk. But I did not do that at all. I spent the whole of last night playing mahjong till 6am in the morning, slept through the whole day and finally woke up in the evening to rush my report. How sad my life is. So I guess is juz another day for me. Another day for people to feel miserable that they dun have a valentine, another day for business to make more money, another day for people to show off what their partner's bought for them, another day for girlfriends to be either happy or angry at their boyfriend's choice of gift for them.... etc.

Im happy with my gift, juz unhappy with how the whole day turned out.

I tink I need a PS3.

My V day gift from Kenneth. =)

2009-02-13T09:52:00.003+08:00

The past weeks have been a blur. I forgot what had happend and I dun remember what I did. Im juz rushing through each day, trying my best to get through the day. Im getting weary and I need rest. Reports are due over the weekend. Presentations... mid-term exams....work load....crazy crowd at work. Oh man, I wish, I wish, I wish this term would be over soon. I can barely hang on anymore.

On the bright side, Valentine's Day is coming up. I got my pressie already!!! It so beautiful. I really really really like it soooooo much. Its worth so much more than all the expensive presents out there. Thank you Baby. I really love it. Thanks for doin it for me. I wish I could have done something for u too, but I dun have the time now. Sorry. =( Have made a few plans for V day but decided not to go along with any of it. All businesses are exploiting everything in the name of St. Valentines. Even a glass of wine is costing 3x as much. Wanted to book a hotel room with Spa, but decided against it. To save money. No point wasting unnecessary money when both is broke. hehehe

So, in the end, the plan is to stay at home and have a quiet dinner. Away from all the other couples and expensive dinners and crowd and hustle and bustle. yeap. sounds good to me. except that I gotta cook. I feel cheated. But then the sad part is, I gotta rush a report over this weekend too. *sigh* this sucks.

I've been a little disturbed the past few days. Not something I wan to blog a bout cuz its some thing I wanna forget. Hopefully it will be out of my system soon. *forget forget forget* DELETE****

But it has reminded me to be thankful and grateful for all my love ones around me. To be contented with what I have and not to keep wanting more.

I juz wanna go home everyday to the arm of someone who is happy to see me. I dun need my Gucci, LV, Prada... but maybe my Mui Mui. Chasing all these last time has made me frustrated, empty and totally unsatisfied. I wan other things now. Family, good friends, and good junk food. wheeee.

Surround myself with people and things I love. And stay away from people who makes me unhappy And Irritated.

sniff sniff

2009-02-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

Miss LuLu is having the sniffles and down with a fever on friday. how sad.
feeling terrible and sick. but still quite alrite. down a few meds and lots of water, hoping to get well by tomorrow.
been feeling tired from work and school and really need some time out from everything. but after chatting with my uncle over dinner, got a little motivation to hang on. hope it will all be over soon.
kenneth playing mahjong while i guess i'll be goin to bed real soon. like now.
Goodnite world.

2nd Febuary

2009-02-02T18:30:00.002+08:00

my mood = Zzzzz
Today is the day when I officially say Goodbye to the holidays... Its Miserable Monday again, no more holidays but endless days of crappy work and never ending boring reports and researches. Sigh.
so sian and moody juz thinkin bout it. Last week was plain exhausting. Was feeling utterly miserable at work and feeling so sian it makes me wanna vomit.
Okie, no more dwelling on unhappy stuff. Think happy. Happy Happy Happy.
okie, lets see.....
I had fun almost the whole week, I enjoyed myself a lot. I won quite a bit of money. Enough for me to buy 5 packets of Korean Strawberries. Sweet!
The past few days, I attended Ah Boy's daughter 1year old Birthday party, won some money there too, but only enough for a packet of cigarettes. Brought my grandma to watch movie - the wedding game. Fann Wong is sooooo pretty! Hung out with friends till late at night playing silly games over ice-cream and fries. Attended wedding. TIRING! I need to stop having fun and go back to my studies and boring job.
Have I mentioned that Ira's son is here and he's so adorable with too much energy & I get tired playing with him after a while. Pfft.
I dun wanna work anymore...
I dun wanna work anymore.......
I need directions. Im lost.

i feel like giving up

2009-01-22T16:34:00.003+08:00

Im draggin my feet every single day. I seriously dun wanna work anymore. Im so exhausted and tired everyday.

Im really really looking forward to the holidays..... but doesn't seem like its goin to be a relaxing holiday.

Im so tired from classes after work yesterday and tonite i gotta go to school again. SIGH.

Then Steamboat dinner with Kenneth's Family is tomorrow.

Saturday I gotta work and then 'reunion' dinner with friends.

Sunday reunion dinner at grandma's house.

I feel tired juz thinking bout it. I need rest. I want to do NOTHING.

Im calculating my expenses to see if I can survive without working.

I might be able to - provided that I stop shopping, stop dining at restaurants, stop smoking, stop watching movies, stop eating sandwiches, stop drinking EVIAN water......

I might eventually die of boredom, hunger or even thirst. DOUBLE SIGH.

Which means I can't stop working.

Im looking people to contribute to the 'Save Luisa Fund'.

Kind souls out there, please transfer money through ATM/iBanking, or GIRO min of $100 every month to my account. It will ensure the existence & happiness of Luisa.

You will be greatly blessed. =D Saving Luisa from her mundane life, full of frustrations, disappointments, exhaustion.......

Im so mad

2009-01-17T11:51:00.004+08:00

my school is taking an awfully long time to upload the exam results. the other classes already got their results like few days ago and my class is still wondering whether we cleared the module or not~!! SO ANGRY!!

I got my Chinese new year outfits but im missing shoes.... but I dun tink i'll be getting new shoes this year cuz im so broke!!! juz serviced the van and its purring perfectly. Plus I juz replenished my facial care products which totalled up to about $300. I switched back to Biotherm from Clinique. Biotherm seems to be better for my skin plus the counter girl was really nice.

I went to SaSa to buy some nail polish to DIY my own nails for the new year to save money for mani and pedi and this particular nail polish caught my eye. its a very piang color of reddish orangy. If it turns our damn piang in ur imagination, it prolly is that color that I bought. It on my nails now, and I love it. Im seriously not normal. It reminds me of some highlighter I used in primary school to color my nails. Wheee....

Finally watched 'Yes Man' Yesterday, the Ducati was so sexy... I wish Kenneth rode one. =P

The winds have been crazy this few days and I love it. Gives u an excuse of not needing to comb your hair when u leave the house. Went to Marina Barrage on Thurs, the place was beautiful, the view spectacular. Had a nice time unwinding there. Work has been a crazy roller coaster and I feel like im hangin by a thread. Thank God I have a very long weekend, off from thurs till sun. Im determined to get a good rest and recharge.

Need rest. Cramps.

I Like It

2009-01-15T14:45:00.006+08:00

I was home early today since I had half day off from work, my iTunes was on shuffle and guess what came on~!!!!
My fave dance music of all time. I have not heard it for the longest time. It brings back sooooo much memories.
This is definitely my song. =D
When Im sad, it makes me happy.
When Im happy, it makes me high.
I remember dancing to this when Im high. Like really high.

AWESOME~

I Like It (Mblack Remix) - Narcotic Thrust

Brunch / Hi-tea

2009-01-11T21:05:00.005+08:00

Lunch was at Mandarin Orchard. It was some dim sum buffet. I almost died by eating myself to death. There was an unexpected guest, John Lee, I was sooo surprised to see him. And I was glad to have him there. It was pretty pleasant reunion lunch + celebration of Sami's birthday.
I ate lots of tiger prawns, lobster, peking duck, suckling pig porriage and many many dim sum. Food wasn't that fantastic and the tiramisu did not taste like tiramisu. -.-

After the lunch some went home, some went to catch a movie. Either red cliff or Hannah Montana. I dun like chinese fighting movie and I dun like Miley Cyrus. Suppose to go swimming this afternoon but after the lunch I would have thrown up in the pool if I did went swimming so decided to head home and rest.

Im so addicted to this stupid facebook game, I wasted the whole afternoon playing it. Arggg.
Classes start next week on wed and thurs. ZZZzzzzz.

They give me the surprise look when I said that I dun know if Samuel would be coming. I just said we did not talk for quite some time. And when I tink bout it, it has really been QUITE some time since we talked. How were we last time? I thought we are still close. But I haven realised maybe not anymore. Well, things do change. Or maybe I changed. I might have changed cuz I dunnoe what to say to him anymore. I dunnoe what to do together anymore...... well.... thats life. haven really thought bout all this till today when John kept asking whether we quarrelled. Thats the thing. we did not even quarrel. I juz drifted out of ur life. so John concluded - we have broken up. I dun know to laugh and take it as a joke or feel sad bout it.
John mentioned while we were smoking on how our 'family' have turned out into and I totally agreed with him. Its juz weird that we're still there. I tink its really time for me to find new friends. A new scene. I tink im goin to take up Yoga classes or some baking class to hang out with some housewives. SInce im turning into some boring old alcoholic shit.
Juz some thoughts.... dun ask me bout it. I dun want to talk bout all this at all. Juz need to let it our. Tomorrow will be a better day. =D
Bless me in the new semester.

MILK

2009-01-08T21:17:00.003+08:00

Watched MILK yesteday after work with Jac, Boo, Sami, Loo etc. It was a refreshing change to have dinner with them and catching a movie from the hectic days of my working life. Kenneth was doing guard duty so I took a train all by myself all the way to town instead of hopping onto a cab. Im so damn proud of myself!

The movie was good overall. Even though it was about a gay political figure, Everyone should watch it whether gay, straight or in-betweens which Jac & I call the whatevers. There was this character Cleve Jones in the movie which is so Samuel!!

Nice. I had fun even though I reached home pretty late and was damn sleepy at work the whole day. It was a worthy sacrifice to see all my sweeties again.

Im soooo looking forward to goin to Bangkok with them the next round after all my studies.

Argg, I hate school.

End of holiday season.....

2009-01-06T23:06:00.002+08:00

After all the holidays, time at work is crawling at snail's pace. *sigh* Left with Chinese New Year to look forward to, but work is gonna be damn hectic during that period. *sigh-sigh*

After work yesterday, headed down to Chinatown to have steanboat with Caleb and Sheares. I had to go cuz Sheares was treating. Wheee... Food was not too bad, the chilli was quite shiok, even though I dun really take spicy. Juz eating and chatting and sharing office gossip. I ate A LOT and felt bloated like a whale. Even my stomach hurt after. But the moment I reached home, was dragged downstairs to have TAU HUEY with TANGYUAN - my favourite!- with Keong. I felt like a total piggy after. damn. All the swimming I have done the previous weekend have gone to waste. Hmmp.

Im soo dreading next week, my school term is starting and Im back to taking 2 modules. Which means double the stress, double time taken up and I gotta go to school twice a week. Gah! I have no time for anything anymore... sob sob sob. I dun wanna go back to school... I wanna be like that everyday. No stress, juz work and play, work and sleep, work and watch drama. I dun wanna study.... so sian~!!!!

Sheares have tendered his resignation, and will be leaving at the end of the month. Kinda sad that I would be losing one of work buddies but yet Im glad that he is leaving to pursue a business venture. Some feel that he is taking a big risk at this point of time, but I feel that it is good for a man to take a risk and try new things out. At least he does not have any major committments at the present moment and there is no better time for him to take a step forward. I wish I could, but Im not really a risk taker. Neither do I have any good business idea with low start up capital for me to venture out. What business is suitable for me to set up? hmmmm....

At the moment, there are so many things I wanna do. but my studies are holding me back, which is quite frustrating at times. But when the market is how it is now. All im hoping is I can hold on to my job. Even if I managed to hold on to my job, the changes at work is making it difficult to stay on. Even Caleb is goin for an interview on Thurs. Haiz, the basic the other company is offering is so much lower and even he does not mind.
Give me strength and perserverance. Help me to hold on to my sanity when everything else is goin crazy.
Focus on things that matter, and dun give a damn to things that upsets me.
Thanks for being my pillar, giving me support........ please stay by my side.

I slept the first day of 2009 away

2009-01-03T19:29:00.007+08:00

I finished watching Little Nonya on MobTV as I could not wait each day for each episode to unfold.
I don't like the ending. =( Boring.
Anyways, my new year eve was a very quiet affair spent at home watching the countdown on both Channel 5 & Channel 8. I tink Channel 5 countdown at Marina Bay was so much better lor. Minutes to midnite we were all bloody tipsy from all the alcohol. I was feeling like damn bloated and sick from all the mixes. White wine with vodka, mix with a little Baileys and some juices... I can't really remember. made me feel real sick. But overall it was juz a quiet nite watchin movies, playing games and chatting with lots of alcohol. Even Ira joined us for some beer, BINGO and 21.

Keong was the first one to get drunk and went completely nuts. We have the video to prove it~! haha. Pity Samuel did not come. Oh well...

My new eye candy for 2009, Dai Yang Tian. So cheena rite the name. But he is so damn hot!! He totally overtook Elvin Ng in my hotties list. Check out his pics to simply understand why.
HOT!!!

He was on Channel 8 coundown show. Wheeee.....

His picture from the show that be acted in. So cute....... 'Little Japanese'.

Hopefully 2009 would be a EVEN better year for me. With good food, nice drinks, great novels to read and lots of love from family and frens. =D

No more putting up of bullshit from people and loving myself more. Much much more.

No new year resolution for me since I can never keep them. So well, juz go with the flow wherever 2009 takes me.

Ok, maybe juz one resolution.

1. Stop spending so much money.

I tink I really do have too much clothes, cuz everyone that come up also exclaims at my wardrobe. Keong calls my wardrobe Takashimaya. Point taken.

*too lazy to rotate the pic* random pics of Qubie.

Happy new year loves.

Puppy Love

2008-12-29T23:48:00.002+08:00

This year seems to have passed me by really quick. In this year, I have suffered greatly from the cruelty of studies and the torture of work. So drama, yeah, whatever.
Lots of things have changed, I realised I don't club as much as I used to, and I can't drink anymore, I am now officially a cheap drunk. All this due to the fact that Im juggling work and studies. I really feel too exhausted for anything else. Hopefully next year will be a better year for me.
Im heading for domestication, and since Im spending a lot of time at home, i need a pet to entertain me. I want a pet. I always wanted a dog since Joey passed away and Angie was given away, but a lot of committment goes into it.....
Im thinkin of either a Shitzu or Maltese. But I prefer the latter. So cute~! What's not to love.

I still do not know what Im goin to do on NYE. Counting down is overrated. Im not interested in fireworks. hmmmm.... I need a dog to watch TV with me. Call me grandma. =P

TGIF?

2008-12-26T22:29:00.007+08:00

Goin back to work after Christmas is the ultimate sian-ness. How I envy those who does not have to go back to work after the holidays!! *sigh*

Christmas have been super busy and tiring for me, but I was happy. =) Christmas Eve was nice. No clubbing for me this year, juz hangin out with frens and sweeties. Dun really fancy clubbin anymore except for the company. Im getting old. BooHOoHoo.

Some sweeties that made my Christmas sweeter.

Kayla. SO cute this girl~!!!
Christmas day was spent with the dogs. It was a doggies X'mas party at my cousin's place.

Present at the party was Me, Kenneth, Keong & Serena...+ spectators.

Doggies present were Ruffles, Hayley, Ruskin, Qubie & Oscar. So fun~

Meet Ruskin - Smallest dog, biggest bark.

Ruffles - Biggest dog, most gentle dog

Hayley - The princess

Qubie - Ken's new ugly dog.

Oscar - The Outcast. Go Figure.

make friend. make friend. But Ruskin don't like. Racist! Ruskin kept barking at Oscar the whole time.

I enjoy simple pleasures of playing with dogs, having hot milo and prata with frens and talk bout our worries, our plans for the future and complain bout the present till 5am in the morning!

This Christmas have been great catching up with friends & family and it makes me truly happy to hang out with people I love and care about. I gotta do this more often.

Saturday would be another jam pack day of parties and meeting friends. Im so looking forward to tomorrow.

Im so sleepy already, but my movie is at midnite. I hope I can keep my eyes open.

Im watching Bedtime stories. I tink its gonna be good!

Jingle Bells

2008-12-24T11:01:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas~!!! Finally its here. My favourite season of all times. Wheeeee.....

The past weekend have been super hectic. Phew.

Friday nite at Movido with the girls was great. Haven't seen them for the longest time and I miss them so. The music was a bit 'jam' when I got there, but after a few drinks of Chivas, everything seems fine. LOL

Saturday finally had the chance to sleep in without thinkin bout work and school. Shiok. But still Saturday was spent packing up the house and goin grocery shopping to prepare for the Christmas dinner potluck on Sunday. Christmas dinner was held at my place, was glad that everyone turned up. It was great~ Even the unexpected turned up, I guess it was the spirit of Christmas. Kenenth enjoyed himself so much playing 'Risk' with the guys, I just enjoy hanging out and chatting with the girls. Overall, it was fun.

Work yesterday was dull as everyone was in a festive mood with totally no heart to work at all. But my orders of choco eclairs, black forests mini rolls and cream puff arrived yesterday. YUMMY! They are simply the best. After work, had dinner with Ken's parents @Central then Kenneth brought me to collect my Christmas present.

Tada. LV Speedy 25. =D

I love it Baby~!!! I so happy. hehehehehehehehehehe

Very Very happy. =D

Thank You.

Mr Dentist give me the chills~

2008-12-19T22:20:00.003+08:00

Went to the dentist this afternoon and it was terrible. It was painful and torturous. It was pure torture for half an hour in that chair and I had to pay $396 after!!!! Gosh.

Its paying for pure pain.

The cleaning was so painful since my last visit to the dentist was many years ago, so I guess there was much to clean. =( and I had 4 cavities to fill. Ouch!

I have no appetite for the next few hours but gave in to spring chicken craving for dinner.

My teeth hurts and Im suppose to be changing and getting ready for drinks at Movida with the girls. Jiu Wo~

Feel sad gotta leave Kenneth to find his own program. =( Sorry

All I need is Clothes & SHoes.

2008-12-16T22:19:00.005+08:00

was feeling a little depressed this afternoon. Feeling a little upset bout some stuff. BOut life. Bout work. Im not really draggin my feet to work every morning, but I really need a break from work. From school. From all the bullshit around me. I juz wish to be somewhere quiet, with no worries, reading my book with warm sunlight on my face, ice cold beer. No worries bout money, bout work stuff, bout school.... I need to get away from my life. I need to be alone. Of course, I would not mind to have someone by my side that I can lean on and lay my head on his shoulder.
I was looking at my work schedule and there was no way I could getaway anytime soon. And I got even more depressed.
So I thought about clothes.... And how I would feel and look in them, and SERIOUSLY... I started to feel better. Clothes and shoes can really comfort me and do wonders bout my depression. It was amazing! I really really did not know that just thinking about clothes could make feel so warm and peaceful. Yeah, I know im crazy. I never said I was normal anyways.
I love my clothes and Im addicted. I need more.

This week is passing way too slowly. Its only Tues. Damn.
Feeling super sian to be back at work. But at least I get to watch little nonya. =)
Im soooooo waiting for Christmas. I can't wait for the superb dinner at MaMa's place.
Was invited to Kimberly and Kayla's birthday party on the 27th and it falls exactly on Kenneth's birthday. Was wondering what should we do, cuz Ken & I both adore Kayla to bits, so skipping her birthday was not a solution, Aunt Sharon simply asked Kenneth to celebrate with the girls. LOL~
I kept laughing cuz the party would be so girly and princessy, and Kenneth would be celebrating his birthday with a Barbie doll cake and 7 candles!!
Hilarious~!!

Bleah

2008-12-14T20:58:00.002+08:00

ZoukOut yesterday was not exactly what I expected it to be. Nothing went according to plan and I did NOT have a lot of fun. But I overall it was juz okay...... Met and hung out with people I like, and some I do not like.
ZoukOut started off with bad communication, lots of waiting, hunger pains and feeling irriated. Was asked to go down earlier to rest in the hotel room, which was the plan. Ended up stuck in traffic jams and reaching Sentosa only bout 7++.
Chilling out in the room was probably the most enjoyable part of the whole entire nite and also hanging out Ian, he's cool. When headed down to ZoukOut, I was so irritated by fucking fat and sweaty people bumping me all over. And some asshole grabbed my ass while I was trying to make my way through the crowds. Seeing some people faces just spoilt my whole entire mood. I started to get bored and sat somewhere to drink and people watch. When deciding to go dance and enjoy the music, I was bombarded with people with fucking bad BO that made me feel like vomiting, and while holding my breath to prevent smelling their BO, I felt like fainting from the lack of oxygen. I gave up becuase the music was crap and headed back to the room to rest. Few of us hung out in the room till bout 5 plus and Kenneth knocked out, Jason was feeling ill. After resting for quite some time, we decided to go down to give ZoukOut one more try.
Met secondary school fren at the Main Arena but was not in a socialising mood so made a quick 'nice to see u and bye bye' . Stayed a while later and finally made it out of Sentosa around 7+ with the whole group in tow.

It is definitely the worst ZoukOut I ever experienced thanx to people who spoilt my mood. Very Fat people. They should juz stay at home. They do not add any value to the scenary and take up way too much space.

WooooWeeeeHoooooo

2008-12-12T22:17:00.005+08:00

FINALLY!!

One more sem to go. But in the mean time, Im gonna enjoy the holidays before school starts next year. Starting with ZoukOut tomorrow! Wheeee.........
Happy dayz and happy time.

p/s Baby thanks for being so patient during my madness & sian-ness period. And for buying breakfast, lunch and dinner for me everyday. Muacks.
p/s FJ, Im super jealous of u lor..................................U better clear this sem.

Jiu Wo

2008-12-09T13:53:00.002+08:00

Im feeling lazy.

Im feeling miserable.

Im feeling tired.

Im feeling sleepy.

Nothing seems to be goin in my brain. And I feel hungry all the time.

3 more days to exam. 3 more days to happy dayz. And celebrations, and nua-ing.

To Christmas festive joy and happiness. HooooOORay......

But now, at this moment. I can't take it anymore. I feel suffocated.

Hang On.

I hate Exams....

2008-12-07T23:10:00.003+08:00

Time of quiet reflection. I Love Being In Love. =) I love being happy. I know people would tink who do not like to be happy but please... there are many people who simply enjoy being miserable. Even when they claim all they want is to be happy. But they keep putting themself in situations which makes them miserable. Somehow I tink they enjoy it, so they things to whine about and complain about.
I realised I have crying a lot recently. And no, not because I quarrelled with Kenneth and certainly not because of my exams... even though I really feel like crying when I tink of my exams... ARGG
The reason for me tearing so much recently is the terrorist attack on Mumbai that claimed the life of Ms Lo Hwei Yen. She was beautiful, smart, fun, capable and successful. Most of all she had a man who loved her dearly.
It was heartbreaking to read about her husband talking about her. It was sooo heartwrenching. It made me tear more than once.
He said: “Everything I did, I did for her. My whole life revolved around her and she truly was the meaning of my life.”
The part that made me cry was when he said that he did not even want her to get wet. Awww..
Came across the blog of the gf, whose bf passed away during training in NS. Super sad too.... So cruel, so unfair. Hope she will get better with each day. Time truly heals all wounds, I would know. Its tested and proven. might take a longer time instead.

Love is such a beautiful thing. Bringing 2 strangers together and sharing each other's life. Takes a lot of hard work but I guess at the end of the day it would be all worth it.
Having someone to love me so so much have made me very happy. Giving in to my every whine. Being patient at my unreasonable tempers and demands.
Seeing or rather reading bout people losing their loved ones, is really very sad and I cannot imagine losing a dearly loved one. Its too scary to even think about it.
I feel that it is important to live each day happily, and not let any little thing get in the way. Any arguments and quarrels have to be settled or solved quickly and not go to bed angry. Life is so unexpected and never know what will happen..... I want every memory to be beautiful.

I know im babling without making much sense. thoughts are too random to put them together.

Anyways, its been a torturous, lazy Sunday for me. Napping, eating, snacking, reading, reading, reading, snacking, napping.... vicious cycle. I hate it~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate studying. I so wanna quit.
Oh man, I cant wait, i cant wait, i cant wait. I can't wait for Friday nite. Where I meet my worst nightmare for the month, IMC Paper and also the joy at 9pm.
I can do it. I can do it.
JIU WO~
Im so sleepy already and I need to go out later for Shawn's Bday.... Yawnz.

Pre-Exams Anxiety

2008-12-04T23:50:00.009+08:00

Work has been... well.... not so hectic for the past weeks. Kinda good for me. Whee... but after a while, things start to get boring and we start to find things to do to past time. Like eating, snacking, chatting, reading newspapers... for me I choose to read my textbook to prepare for my exams but my colleagues keep Irritating me and I end up reading the same sentance 10 times. I ended up not studying but fooling around and stoning at work. =S

~My work Buddy Caleb and his retro hairstyle~

~Me~

After work, we had a branch dinner at a Japanese Restaurant. It was a buffet dinner, so Caleb and I decided to not eat much for lunch so we could have more at dinner. Before dinner started we went shopping at Raffles City, but before it was time for dinner, we were sooooo hungry cuz we did not eat much the whole day and my legs felt like jelly. I was so tempted to munch on all the goodies that were at the basement but YEAH, I did NOT succumb to temptation and had a lot to eat for dinner. I ate like Tons of sashimi, tempura.... beef.... many many more. I felt like a shishamo after that.

Planning what to order... yum yum

As usual being bullied by Caleb and Sheares.

But life at work would be so boring without any of them.

We had Sake after dinner, everyone was so excited about it. See all the closet drinkers showing their true colors. hehe Sake was good, I never had it before. But it was kinda strong though. Bleah. I thought the cold Sake would be nicer but I ended up drinking the warm Sake. Shiok.

High~! LOL

Okie, enough of fun. I really need to study for my exams... I haven really started. Im so dead. =S Help me.

Face like Strawberry shortcake.... ouch

2008-11-22T21:12:00.003+08:00

Kenneth have been working like the past few weekends. And finally this is the last weekend that he will be working. As usual I have been left to myself to find my own entertainment. Of course the plan was to stay home and study. But since I lack the discipline and the fact that I dun feel in the best of mood, I had to go out and do something.

Met up with Jarlyn and Jack for coffee at Starbucks. Its been months and months and gosh, I do miss them. serious conversations and lots of laughter. Even after all these years, poor Jarlyn still stuck in the same old situation and having a broken heart. I wish I could do something to help her, or rather wake her up. But life lessons are best learnt by your own. No one else can help if you yourself have no intention to help yourself. Sigh. Because it takes such a long time for us to meet up, we planned ahead and booked dates of our next meet up sesssion. Dinner @ Sheration. Again. And another to have dinner @ Raffles Hotel. Yes. Im still broke as ever and its only getting worse. But dinner at all theses places would cost cheaper than a shopping center foodcourt. Why? Connections... Wheeeee..... and anyway, its Jack's treat anyway.

Today woke up early to go see showrooms of the Punggol flats and Boon Keng City View. I soooo lurve City View, but most of the units are already snapped up. but I could not afford it anyway.... its like $560K. *faints* i gotta pay through my ass to live there. Punggol flats are way too overpriced as well. Im so upset. Its so unfair.......

After Kenneth left for work, I headed to Dempsey hill for my facial. I have really bad breakouts recently and my face needs help. Now after facial, I feel so good all the disgusting stuff is being squeezed out but my face looks all swollen and bruised. Just like strawberry shortcake. Eeeewww. I hope it heals soon.

Im hoping so much for something, and I hope I get it. Hopefully next month will be a better month for me.

Since there is nothing much to look forward to next year as the market is only gonna get worse. Im juz living from month to month and saving as much as I can (not very successful) in case of any unfortunate event that is happening to almost every bank in Singapore. Im not scared or worried or panicking. I guess, if anything happens, all I can say is...

THat sucks~!

**FJ, hope you're feeling better..... I was so worried lor. Lucky u never die. I need my emailing buddy back at work soon. Im so bored without u~! I juz blasted your mailbox when u were on mc... hehehe

Online shopping....

2008-11-17T23:33:00.003+08:00

I have been online shopping for the longest time. I rarely go down to town or shopping malls anymore cuz I can still get pretty dresses online. FAVOURITE........ Its also the fastest way to erode my savings.

There's so many things I can get online, its really interesting. Some seller wanted me to buy a Hello Kitty Toaster from her through email. I would. But I already got a toaster.

been checking out the new HDB flats at Punggol. But is really costly for somewhere so far. its kinda hard to make a decision. but im taking my time looking around.

anyways, been feeling moody too recently. might be due to memses. but i still wanna be the unreasonable bitch i always have been. I feel like im drifting away from the world. i tink its one of those times where the stress of my exams are starting to consume me. But it fact is..... im really really not stress over my exams. Im juz making an excuse to be angry with everything.

Im so angry with some people I feel like smashing their face and running over them with my van. I juz wanna spend my life hating them and devote my life to making them miserable.

But im too lazy. so in the end, I juz choose to ignore them and stay away from them as much as possible. try all ways to avoid them.

I wish I can buy some new frens online too. That way I can choose the type of people I can be frens with. And how they look like. How they talk. The kind of activities they like. And within 3-4 working days, they can be shipped into your life. And I can be super happy........... for the moment.

I juz rented like 4 novels to read, despite the fact that my exams are nearing. But I enjoy the peace and simple quietness, and time to myself when I read. Plus the fact that the Shopaholic series is super addictive~!!

Went to the food fair at Suntec twice in a row. the food there is fantastic and I spent close to 100 bucks. Juz on food.

Yeah. im really getting fat.

mundane

2008-11-16T11:49:00.003+08:00

Kenneth have been working every weekend, which is alrite, cuz we're goin to need all the cash we can get. Went down to look for Kenneth at work yesterday at Suntec, the Singtel fair. Took a bus down after work, cuz the car was with Kenneth.

I really seriously dun mean to sound spoilt or irritating. Taking public transport sucks big time. It was so torturous. Squeezing with all the smelly and sweaty people. Argg.. I really wanted to puke. People rubbing against u, and holding up their smelly armpits in your face. It was terrible. I almost fainted from standing for prolonged period. I almost burst out crying when the bus constantly jerked, each time swinging me around the pole I was grabbing on. Some asshole would not give me a little space to hold on to the pole and I juz shove my hand to grab on to something. Fckin selfish I tell u. Some fat ass lying agains the pole, and juz because of her, everyone around her had nothing to grab on to. SICKENING. weirdos. Im definitely taking a cab the next time round. Public transport is too torturous for me. seriously. sigh.

Salaries shrinking and daily meals getting expensive. THis is no time to splurge and what did I do the moment I got my salary, I Spent. =(
So im goin to stay locked up. cuz im broke after paying off all my bills. HP bill this month is $400++. Damn. all cuz of the roaming charges... so well.

been rushing my report every free moment after work. Exams are coming up and I still have no bloody idea what is goin on. My lecturer sucks and listening to him is a torture.

my life sucks - at the moment. i fear losing my job. financial sector has been pretty shaken up. but juz taking each day as it comes. most to most, i'll just bum around again. shit. this sucks.

a monday that isnt so bad after all....

2008-11-10T21:43:00.003+08:00

I got half day off from work this morning and had to attend a course in the afternoon. Utter waste of my time if I have to say so! Hmmp.

Anyways, the tension in the air recently of all the talks of retrenchment goin around, makes me wonder if it will affect me too. Its kinda scary... but im keeping my hopes up. Im worried because of my spendthrift lifestyle, with credit card bills to pay as well as a home to upkeep. So, pls keep me in your prayers. =)

Sat spent hanging out with Ken and Keong. Talking bout clubbing and partying. I kinda miss it sometimes. But I know that its not the dancing and music and alcohol that Im missing, but I guess i miss my frens. Miss those times of how we would come up with excuses for the entire group of us to go partying and getting drunk. We would celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, festivals, getting a new haircut, a new shirt.. whatever.... we even came down to celebrate me having my period.

Came across a few things that makes me ponder bout life.... I must be grateful for the people in my life who love me and stays by my side.

I am grateful that I have my health, even though its not fantastic, I can walk on my own, I can jump and ride bicycle. I can shit and pee without other people's help. Things that we take for granted can be so difficult for some people. Which is very very very sad. Its so heartbreaking and I tear even when watching some people struggling with life.

I really have no big dreams to be like super rich, I mean I would love to be rich and have everything that my heart desires. But for now... Im happy. As long as I have my family, my frens, my health, my JOB (something that I have come to appreciate over the past weeks).....I tink I would get through life fine.

LUISA LIM, you have to stop spending money....!!! Its the recession for goodness sake. GAH! Im so upset with myself. I really need to control my spending and Im locking myself up until the 12 of Dec. No more shopping malls for me. No going out to fancy restaurants. No more expensive cookies and cakes. No more shoes, no more dresses.

ENOUGH. I cant even fit in anymore clothes in my closet. I have to stop.

Please help me. Im goin to embrace the simple life from today onwards.

Luisa, u can do this.

drink drank drunk

2008-11-02T23:27:00.003+08:00

So broke. so broke. I seriously dunnoe where all my money go to. I need a financial check up. Im feeling so so ARGGGG bout my CPF investment losing money. bout 6K. I know its a small amount. but im still So upset.

I have to say that last nite was fun, both dinner and drinks. Dinner and game of Bridge with Samuel & fren. Then Kenneth and I had to leave for drinks with his frens. Which I was not really looking forward to but I have to say, I did have fun.
The mission for the night was to get the Birthday boy drunk, which was accomplished. But not only was the birthday boy spending most of the night with the toilet bowl, my darling boyfriend was super duper high too! Non-stop gulping of Chivas and beer and green tea, where loser of the game Holdem had to drink up the messed up concoction which would leave no man standing after. YUCKS. and yes, kenneth had not much good luck at the game, but so did many others. I stuck to my cherry beer which I kinda like. but stayed away from the other drinks cuz it was Nasty.
Although I was being bored to death by some conversation which I shall not expose here for fear that somehow, somewhere that person might chance upon this post. It was great. But all the plans that I had for Sunday..... not done. at all. I stayed home the whole day. doing nothing except to watch Season 2 of Gossip Girl. Im SOoooooo addicted......

I gottta have my beauty sleep now.

XOXO

I promise to be thankful

2008-10-29T00:21:00.002+08:00

im still feeling the sian-ness of being back to reality. back to life. back to work.
I have school tomorrow which makes it worse. And the fact that my exam is coming, doesn't make it better. But somehow, I have a feeling I might be able to make it to ZoukOut this year. *crosses finger*

Anyways, somethings always make situation better. Like.... Kenneth, Samuel and family. I spent my whole weekend lazing around. but managed to drag my lazy ass out of bed on Sunday to go meet Samuel. And once again on Monday to go see grandma.
So i guess, no matter how much I say I miss Berlin and Vienna. I really really did miss people at home so much more. And seeing Samuel and spending time with Kenneth over the weekend, Im glad to be home. =)

I was intending to club the past sunday, but changed my mind at the last min, cuz juz thinkin bout it makes me bored. was great hanging out with Samuel, as usual. after when he left to go party, Kenneth decided to bring me to Mt Faber, when the weather was hot and humid. But it was nice, the view and conversation bout what im goin to do with my life. haven gotten to the conclusion yet. And after Mt Faber, Kenneth brought me to Swensens at 2am to satisfy my ice-cream craving.
I have the sweetest bf ever!
I know I make people sick with the last line, but I juz need to show my appreciation for what he has done.
Thank you. =)

Im so blessed. I have the sweetest bf and a loving brother+soul mate+best fren.
Im juz counting my blessings.

Post holiday blues

2008-10-26T17:44:00.009+08:00

It's such a bugger my holiday ended way too soon. I still haven gotten over the fact that Im back home and back to reality. its sad actually.
depressing.
My days in Eastern Europe were hectic yet fun.
I arrive in Zurich, Switzerland on day 1 and drove up to Fussen, Germany to see my first castle.

View was great, weather was fabulous. Perfect. =D We then headed to Vienna. I swear it was love at first sight.

After Vienna, we ended up in Budapest, Hungary where I cruise down Danube River.

From Budapest, Hungary to Krakow, Poland. Krakow was more intense as in we visited the Jewish concentration camp where millions of jews were murdered and it was pretty disturbing and upsetting. I got nightmares that nite.
Next was Prague, Czech Republic.

After Prague, I was in Berlin, definitely my favourite. I almost wanted to get lost so my grandma would leave me there. But well... the famous Berlin Wall.

My holiday was fun, great weather, breathtaking sceneries, nice company. But deep down inside I guess I did miss home. I miss my chicken rice, rojak etc.

I was craving so much for chinese food, the moment i saw Meat Dumplings on the menu, I ordered it and this was what i got!!! LOL. nothing close to what I expected. -.-

And of course some hot guys I came across on my holiday. tee hee. Charming!

Pictures posted here is only a fraction of what I have taken. THing is, my trip was great and im sorry to be home. gah~ but nevertheless... im home. Funny thing is, I did not really buy stuff but I did buy lots of chocolotes. irresistable. But I did spend a whole lot of money on toilets. Can u imagine? Everytime I needed to go to the toilet it cost from 50cent EURO to 1 EURO. considering the fact that i go to the toilet quite often, I spent close to $80 SGD on toilets. So expensive!!

I need another holiday.

Home

2008-10-24T19:14:00.004+08:00

Im finally home and exhausted and so not looking forward to work tomorrow.

A place where the beer is cheaper than water, I totally did not want to come home..... =(

*yawnz* Time to sleep, my clock is all screwed up.

more updates when i get used to life back home again. hehe =D

my nose hurts

2008-10-10T10:44:00.005+08:00

To work continuously without any off days and sat off is truly torturous. I've been working non-stop for the past one and 1/2 month without off days, without sat off and I was determined not to take any MC. This made me easily irritated, depressed and cranky all day long.

Thanks to great frens / colleagues, I finally made it through, it was tough and tiring but I made it. Yesterday was officially my off day, and I got excited activating my "out of assistant" function on my email which said - Would be out of office from 10 oCt to 24oCt. Pls contact branch for urgent matters. - WOOOOOhoooooOOOooo. No need to go back to that stuffy office for 2 whole weeks. Sad thing is I would not be able to see Kenneth for bout 13 days.... but not needing to go to work. SHIOK!

Bad news is.... I got a pimple in my nose and it HURTS. HURTS like hell. its makin me a little cranky and irritated. dammit.

argg...

2008-10-06T10:37:00.002+08:00

Im feeling so damn irritated. And nothing is wrong. Absolutely nothing.
I only way to explain how im feeling is that I woke up on the wrong side on the bed. Where everything that can go wrong. WILL go wrong.
First... the mrt ride to work pissed me off. Cuz of pushy and impatient people. The door is not even opened yet and people behind me are pushing me to get out of the way. I got so fed up, i shouted at them to WAIT!!! Cuz Im getting off too! wat is their prob man.... even if im not getting off, I'll definitely make way for them to get off when I have more space when the door opens. gosh. IRRITATING.
then when I finally reach work, I realised that I gotta attend a course tonite. Which I completely forgot and I agreed to meet my groupmates to discuss my presentation, which I cannot postpone cuz the presentation is on wed. So i go around to beg my colleagues who are suppose to attend the course tomorrow to change with me, but all say they cannot switch days with me cuz tonite they need to go home. Which pissed the hell out of me, and I feel like giving a flying kick to all. But instead i juz sulk. I must have looked damn ugly sulking, LiLian agreed to switch with me but with all the guilt included. That she gotta miss dinner with her mom and all...... WHATEVER! but thanks anyway cuz I do not want to sound like an ingrate. It was sweet of her anyway.

so well, work goes on. im bored. frustrated. irritated. agitated.
argg...... sian ah!

To be more positive. I had a fruitful weekend. I did 3 batches of laundry.... -.-
I spent time with my grandma, met up with my mom. had dinner with Kenneth's family and spent Sunday with Uncle Alan and family.... had small talk with Baby Kayla... so overall, I was happy.

okie, back to work and sulking.
Luisa, u can make it through this hectic week......
4 more days to my off day. I can't wait....

rest at last

2008-09-28T20:06:00.003+08:00

After weeks of rushing around to classes and running errands, Im exhausted. I haven't got any off days cuz its all accumulated to my leave in Oct.
Anyways, today spent time with granny. Picked her up after church and headed down to OG cuz she wanted to go shopping. I realised that I definitely got my shopping habits from her. Within mins of stepping into OG, she bought a top that cost 158 bucks. -.-""
We were looking for a warm sweater for me for our trip to Europe. But all the sweaters look so ugly at OG! But I juz chose one since she was paying for it. =)
Headed down to Tiong Bahru market for lunch and did a little shopping there too. Its really amazing the stuff they have there. Weird enough, there was stuff for me to buy. She as usual spent lots again, even at a market. I bought PJs...... PJs from Tiong bahru market, the PJs that old aunties wear at home. So funny.
Tomorrow is Monday and im so not looking forward to work anymore. Im so tired and I got a report to rush out by tues and I haven started at all. Everytime I tink of my report I feel SIAN. so I avoid it.

Got this really funny picture of Kenneth. So sickening~!!!! But I forced him to give me a slutty look. so well.... enjoy.

Im hungry and Im waiting for my pizza to be delivered. Im trying hard to cut down on fast food, but for today I guess I'll juz break the rules. So hungry so hungry and I'll be watchin the F1 race till my food comes. i can't feel the F1 excitement but its kinda interesting when watching it on TV. Singapore actually looks amazing at night.

lastly..... SO CUTE!!

down with day 2

2008-09-23T17:40:00.003+08:00

I must have done something right. I have gotten over my previous sem's results and lived with the fact that I have 2 credits and been happy bout it too. but recently out of the blue, there was an adjustments to the results which I did not even bother to go see. Well, being all bored out of my mind yesterday I decided to go in and see what the fuss was all about and I saw~ I got a Distinction for MRA (Marketing Research)... I was stunned~!!! I was like... what the #&$*. My results were adjusted from a C to a D. Im still wondering what I have done right. Shocking. Yes. Wow, what a pleasant surprise.

its a bad start to my week. the weekend was great though. I enjoyed my home-cooked dinner by Samuel and enjoyed his company. Its been quite some time since he last slept over. it was such a familiar feeling that has not been felt for quite a long time. And after months and months of discussing and planning, I finally dragged my pale white body to Sentosa, supposedly for a tan. But well, God must be on my side, the moment I hit the beach, the sun disappeared. Much to the frustration of many, but secretly I was glad. But I got sun burnt anyway. damn. I wun say I had a great time at the beach, but I was happy to see some familiar faces.
some pics taken over the weekend, too lazy to upload the rest.
Twins~!!! hehe

This baby was spotted at Sentosa. Damn bloody cute. He was so hot and bothered and totally adorable.

more when I have too much time on my hands. for now. Im hungry.

monday blues and cramps~

2008-09-22T22:50:00.003+08:00

this sux. everything sux. im soooo in the mood for emo. Im Emo by the way. its the right setting for being emo anyway. my hormones are unbalanced. my mood swings are crazy, my cramps are killing me and I feel like crying the whole bloody day and I dun even know why and plus... im all alone at home. with no cigarettes. on a Monday. can things get any worse. my life sux.

out of breath

2008-09-16T16:34:00.003+08:00

busy. busy. busy.

Discussed project till 10+ yesterday..... I hate IMC. and this is only the beginning.
And have I mentioned that Im goin for a concert tonite. I really dun know if I should laugh or cry bout it.
Concert of a singer I do not know at the Indoor Stadium who is goin to sing Oldies.... -.- I rather be home sleeping.
Im goin because of my grandmother and I dragged Kenneth down with me. haha

backtrack - both will always be my baby. =D

2008-09-06T20:55:00.008+08:00

Its dark and it's gloomy outside. Raining and it's cold. Wondering what is the world doin? Preparing for their fun night out? Zouk? Heard there is some kind of bash goin on. Zzzzzz....
How bout the show goin on at Tabs, where Keong's bike gotta be on stage as a prop for the models. hahahaha
Everyone preparing for their night out of fun and I juz woke up from my afternoon nap to see that it's raining outside. I love the rain when Im home. Its kinda therapeutic. Calming and soothing.
Argg... I have no life. School has started and Im constantly sick. I have no plans, no where to go. No people to meet. No energy to go anywhere and no mood to meet anyone.
I feel like I have only u. Well....At least I still have you. =)

Somehow, somewhere, watched a episode of Will & Grace and brought back some feeling of nostalgia. I miss those days of watchin Will & Grace on a small screen of iPod Video in bed. Sami's iPod video. I miss those days of trying to imitate Dirty Dancing in my living room. I miss those days of squeezin on the counch and watchin a DVD and me falling asleep halfway and u unsucessfully waking me up. I miss those days where we were totally broke and had to borrow money so we both could have money to eat.
Gosh~! Those were my gloomiest days yet full of fun and laughter.
U were with me through my darkest moments and I love u for it!

I was goin through my LJ and saw this and decided to repost it, juz in case we go through life each day and you tend to forget.
All the times spent together makes me smile.
Thanks for being around all this time.
To someone I love as a little brother, who loves me back for who I am.
I always be there for you
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
I will do all my best to protect you
When the tears get near your eyes
I'll be the one that's by your side
I'll be there when you call me in the middle of the night
I'll try my best to take care of you
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
I'll be there to make you strong and to lean on
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you, like how u have been around for me.

I guess it's a quiet nite in and David Cook's Always be my baby is on loop tonite while I enjoy my book. Bliss.Kinda.I guess.
I realized that I looked so much slimmer in the pics with Samuel compared to the chubby face with Kenneth. I want to be slim/skinny/aneroxic again. Without the pain and worries. hehe. asking for too much? maybe

read. reading. read.

SICK!!!!

2008-09-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

I had a not-too-bad weekend despite the throbbing headache. I was having a headache the whole week, a headache that would not go away and it was making me blind in one eye. At first I thought it would go away in a day, but it did not. tot maybe it was a bad headache that lasted 2 days, instead it went on for the whole week. It was so torturous.

Immediately went to see a doctor on Saturday fearing I have a brain tumour. =S But no... its a tension chronic headache + migraine. Cheeem man, sound so serious. After sleeping the whole day with medication, felt a little better. but up till now, im still having a headache. searching all over the Internet for a cure for migraines and headaches but up till its been said the cause of migraine is still not known and medication with lots of side effects are the only cure. Oh God... pls help me.

Here is me, downing medication everyday... Bleah, this sucks.

Anyways, Kenneth and I "celebrated" our 2yr thingy over the weekend. We went to SpaEsprit for a relaxing massage.

I love the place there.... its so peaceful and quiet. This is our room.... with a beautiful view.

Ken surprised me with a Baby-G. This is the watch that he chose for me. I like it. Its something that I would not choose for myself but yet I kinda like it a lot and I look good with it. =) Thanks baby. I really was very surprised that u actually bought something for me. I so happy.

Funny thing was that I also planned on buying a G-shock watch for him. so well... this explains both our watches.

On MC today, spent the whole nite at Tan Tock Seng A&E. =S Had an adverse reaction to my headache medication and what happened was BAD.... really really bad. Ken drove me to TTSH and I felt so terrible and kept shaking. I was injected with medicine and was put on IV drip. so torturous. Thankfully, I had kenneth by my side the entire nite. (Sorry, u must be really really tired standing next to me the whole nite. ) Kept under observation till like 4am before I could leave for home. Feeling slightly better now and slept the entire day. Really slept the whole day............. no food and water. Juz managed to open my eyes while Ken goes to buy me dinner. Tomorrow is another day at work. sigh. feeling so weak and sick. Bleah.

This hurts and I got so bored lying there I started fidgeting and instead of some liquid goin into my body, blood starter to fill the tube. Check this out. Everyone was sleeping except me, cuz all I wanted to do was to GO Home.....

kenneth baby, thanks for everything that u have done for me. For taking care of me. For rushing me to the hospital. For holding my hair when I feel like vomiting. For standing next to my bed the entire nite. For waiting so patiently for me. For calling the nurse when the drip stopped.

Thank you for looking after me constantly cuz my health is so poor. I wish I was stronger. Sorry for being such a burden.

work stuff....

2008-08-30T11:51:00.003+08:00

My Branch group photo... we were in the Ferrari team. Odd one out is Kesmond who was in the BMW team but came over to eat more food.

3 days course were spent like that most of the time. So shiok, no need to go work instead play games and watch videos, teabreak, toilet break, lunch break, smoke break.... Everyone from different departments of the bank came together, where we learnt more about the different roles of each department. I liked it.

Its Saturday and I had a FANTASTIC breakfast made by Kenneth. Sunny side up and sausages and peanut butter sandwich with cheese. YUMMY~
Thanx Baby!

Thank God

2008-08-28T22:09:00.004+08:00

Results are finally out. Im glad and im thankful.

Actaully.... IM SHIOKAKAKALI HAPZ.

I passed and thank God. Although I did not do as well as I did last sem, but all i asked for was to pass and i got Credit for both modules and Im more than glad. =D

So... here comes the next sem and Im so NOT looking forward to next week . My whole hectic life once more.

This week have been pretty much great.

Monday was a nice dinner @Tung Lok with frens to celebrate Gary Loo's bday. It was really nice seeing them. I so happy.

Eating out is so unhealthy and my hair is dropping at an alarming so we decided to have home cooked food. Well, I cooked for 2 days and I decided to give myself an off day today from cooking. Went down to town to buy Durian SnowSkin Mooncake... yummy yummy. It taste sooooo good. *Burp*

As usual, nothing happening in my life. Juz boring me.

Oh ya, I have to say that they are so many weirdos around. I tink its the stress of living in Singpapore that everyone is juz behaving madly. they are always so angry and irritated and short tempered. Everything is always NOT their fault and that the whole world owes them their life. WEIRD. People should go do some Yoga or Pilates to calm down and center their chakra or anything to CHILL. People in Singapore need to chill and relax. -.- This world is not getting easy to live in. So since I can't change the way people behave and think, I juz gotta ignore them and live my own way. For all I know, I may be the weirdo to them always in my own world. But hey~ at least im happy. =D For now.............

another thing to be glad about. Im so blessed with great batchmates. We were practically inseparable at the Dinner & Dance. We had fun together even though we were all not sitting at the same table and our tables were far far apart. I was at table 45 and Thomas and Fj were at 200++ table. damn. but we still ran all over the place to have smoke breaks together. So it was great. At least we motivate each other to stick to our sucky jobs. heehee

I was having a super bad hair day that day and Thomas is not in the pic. But... who cares anyway. D&D lucky draw prizes were fantastic but I went home with nothing. SO UPSET. They were giving away 2 tickets to Japan and Shanghai all expenses paid and grandstand tickets at Japan and Shanghair Grand Prix race. But that's not I was eyeing. I so wanted the Airbook... or even the IBM thinkpad.... or the iPod video 80GB... or the Nintendo Wii.... or the X-Box. But I ended up with NOTHING. Not even the Pizza oven that MunHou got. So unfair. So I made it up by drinking lots of cheap beer which made me feel bloated the whole nite.

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!!!! actaully i also dunnoe what so happy about, as if I got great plans ahead. but nevertheless, im still so looking forward to the weekend where I can sleep and sleep and sleep and get FAT~

my heart hurts....

2008-08-23T21:54:00.004+08:00

I was off from work today and Kenneth was off to guard duty early in the morning. So what could I do....

Well, I could choose to spent the whole day bumming around reading my book, waiting for time to pass.

Or.... I could ask people out for coffee.... Or I could go spend the whole day pampering myself.

Guess what? I chose option 3. Im very happy yet my heart hurts from all the money spent. I dun even dare to tell Kenneth the exact amount I spent. He would not scold me at all, but Im juz so embarrassed that I have no self control at all. Im such a spendthrift!!! Why??

Meaning:- A spendthrift (also called profligate) is someone who spends money prodigiously and who is extravagant and recklessly wasteful.

Im feeling damn bloody remorseful now. but there is nothing I can do but reflect on what I did today.

First my plans for today was to go for a facial, since after my exams, im having breakouts and its making me feel depressed and ugly. Suppose to go to my regular beautician at Aramsa Spa but cuz they were fully booked I had to resort to my 2nd choice - Spa Esprit. Called them and realised that they moved to Dempsey Hill. Was excited to go check out the new place.

It was BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT THERE SO MUCH. Facial was good, view was good, environment was good. Overall it felt good.

Anywas the total damage on my bank account is really quite a significant amount when I start to calculate. Oh no... please dun start nagging at me. I promise not to spend any more money till next pay day.

Strip : Brazillian Wax + Cream =$110

Spa Esprit @House: Facial + Eye treatment= $210(*faints) Package =$600 (arggg)
Mystique hair salon = $350 (dun ask me about it)

Rough amount I spent = $1060 +parking+petrol+cigarettes

Gosh, my heart is pounding so hard now. Im damn expensive to maintain!!!!!!

I doubt I can sleep tonite.

But then again I work hard for my money so I deserve to spend it right? right?????

And no, I did not get any bonus.

Pls dun mention anything about this to me. Dun ask me bout it. Juz let it be. I need to hibernate for the rest of the month from now.

I need to save for my Europe trip.

Oh ya, did I mention that I juz bought a new camera and a pretty looking white HDD and a new thumbdrive. All within the span of less than 2 weeks.

And yes.... IM DAMN BLOODY BROKE NOW.

Start saving now LUISA LIM!

I will

2008-08-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

I can, I can, I can

I WILL.....

This 3 day course have been pretty though provoking. Got me thinking bout lots of stuff.
I was asked to be honest with myself and think about talents and gifts. And I realised that I have NO talents! Whatsoever!!!!
I was damn upset!! A little depressed.
First... Im not good at any sports. I can't play any musical instrument that I ever learnt in my life well. I can't sing. I can't dance.
But then I realised all these talents were not important to my goals in life. So well.....

There must be a purpose for me for my life. Right? Im still trying to figure it out and hopefully it will come to me soon.
I was taught - Its no point goin through life without knowing where u're headed. It would be more meaningful to have a goal and a purpose to know which direction in life u're headed. So im goin to go to the beach and try figure this out.

"Where there is no vision, people perish."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Juz some of the many beautiful quotes I got from my course. I like it a lot. Hopefully I'll remember it...hehe

Bleah

2008-08-19T19:12:00.004+08:00

It is often said, Tomorrow will be better. I had a cranky day at work yesterday, went to sleep hoping today would be better. It got worse.

Feeling damn sian. damn lost. damn directionless.
Im so glad that exams are over. Really glad. I felt like I could smile again. Kenneth says the glow on my face is back again. Up till the weekend was over, and work juz wiped out that smile on my face.

Caleb and I were discussing. He had a tough week at work when I was over taking my exams. So he was pretty beaten down when I was back at work. Everything was a pile of mess waiting for me to clear up. SIAN AH!
We both so wanna tender our resignation so badly. But.... its not difficult to find a job now but to find a job that pays us more or at least the same to do what we do would be difficult.

so well.... life goes on. in a sucky way. but im definitely enjoying every moment of no exams and classes. but it will only last for 2 weeks and I'll be back to school on 1st Sept. -.-

Back to work for 2 days and im of to a 3 day course tomorrow. Wheepee..... I love goin for courses. All the tea-breaks, lunch-breaks, brunch, smoke breaks, toilet breaks...etc.
All alone tonite, Kenneth off to guard duty. Well, at least I get to read my new book that I have.

Funny!

2008-08-17T23:45:00.001+08:00

Heard over the radio 98.7

Your face is so ugly!
They use it to scare the SHIT of of NEWATER~!!!!

Wahahahahahahahah!!!

Is it you?

2008-08-14T20:05:00.005+08:00

I'm looking for a lover not a friend

Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to

I'm looking for someone who won't pretend

Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,

Someone who can keep me real and who knows always

Baby I like to have you in my way

And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,

Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me?

Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me? (Could you be?)

Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)

Someone who I can run to,

who would stay with me when it rains

Someone who I can cry with through the night

Someone who I can trust who's hardest right

And I'm looking for someone
And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,

Someone who can keep me real and who knows always

Baby I like to have you in my way

And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,

Want to share, shows he cares

Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me? Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me? Could you be this one I need?

Take for grant

How much I care (How much I care)

And appreciates that I'm there

Someone who listens

And someone I can call who isn't afraid of thought to share

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me?

Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?

Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for

Could you be the one for me? Could you be the one I need?

......one and a half more day....

2008-08-14T11:44:00.003+08:00

I need to escape to a happy place. I wish for my happily ever after really soon.
ok... juz one more day. I really can't wait to get through this week.
Friday.. come Friday. Friday at 10pm I would be screaming at the main door of my school. YEAH~!!! ok, maybe not. But I'll be damn @#$%^ happy.

Yesterday's paper was a disaster. EROI. what the @#$% is that? I called Fj to make myself feel better about not knowing what it is, and he juz so smoothly and confidently says... 'Employee Returns On Investment'. Now! Where did that come from. I have never seen EROI in my entire life and concluded might been that week that I skip lecture. Damn~!

Anyways, the killer paper is tomorrow. MRA~Marketing Research and Analysis. All the numbers and formulas and statistics. Its crazy man.... Im having this pit feelin in my tummy. It so torturous.

Oh God, Please help me through this week. Give me strength.

Okie, back to studying now... *yawnz* this sucks.

random thoughts

2008-08-11T12:10:00.003+08:00

I really love cute pics like this... it makes me smile. So damn cute~!! I sooooo wanna have daughters next time. I tink they will be more fun then boys. =)

Anyways, Im so bored at work rite now, can't wait to go home soon... coming in to work for half a day is like such a waste of time. KLKK again~

Din sleep well last nite, was having such a bad headache. Prolly from laughing too much. Its been some time since I laughed till my tummy ached and tears rolled. No, it was not Kenneth who made me laugh. But rather it was watching youtube videos. Im so addicted to youtube nowadays.

A little taste of Happiness....

2008-08-10T22:42:00.002+08:00

I actually laughed a little today. Felt a little lighter today.
1) Chatted with Samuel a little today. Which made me realised that I miss him so much~! and thanx for the encouragement Baby, did give me a little push to get through the day.

2) I gave myself a break from studying today. After church today, went home for grandma's yummy popiah and century egg porriage. Followed by a guilt-free nap all the way till evening time.

3)Wanted to read my notes a little after walking up from my nap cuz I felt the guilt creeping up on me the moment I woke up. But Kenneth received a call asking us to have dinner with his parents. Ended up having dinner with the whole bunch. Dinner was alrite, crabs and stuff... at least got free dinner. hehe

4) Suppose to head home at targeted time 7pm to resume my studying but ended up hanging out at Bedok with the rest till 10pm. -.- (I totally have no discipline.)

5) So 10pm wanted to go home and juz maybe read a least 1 chapter of Marketing Research and Analysis...... when I have craving for Sticky Chewy Chocolate. So guess what, headed down to Swenson's for my sugar fix.

So u see, the whole day was spent with thoughts of studying but not fufilled at all. So was thinking maybe its not so bad to take the day off right. Juz that my exams is only like 2 days away and really lots of chapters to study... and im still bumming around and worrying and instead of doing somethiing about it, im still wasting time... and I should really be reading some chapters but yet im not....
okie, panic attack again... breathe Luisa... Breathe. U can do this... right? right.

ultimate level of sian-ness

2008-08-08T23:38:00.005+08:00

Was on mc today. Woke up like 5am in the morning with stomach cramps and rolled around in bed hoping it would go away. Did not work. Struggled to the toilet for bout 5 times, by the time the alarm rang to get ready for work, I was too exhausted to get up.
I tink Im like playing with fire..... thoughts of resignation is constantly on my mind, cuz I feel like I can't cope.
MC today and I did not feel like calling in to inform my boss. Balls getting bigger or rather I juz really dun care anymore. Im too tired. Really really need a break. On leave from tuesday onwards and its not for relaxation... im having my exams. Im so not ready..... boohooo
Marketing Research is really no joke. its tough and im so bloody scared.... with all the statistic and numbers. It makes no sense to me.

Baby came home early today to send me to the docs. Was really in pain and feelin damn guilty for nt goin to work. Argg...
This is me looking super shack and in pain. I seriously tink I look like shit. and i actually left my home without changing and brushing my hair. =S

Baby happy while I emo away....

Anyways, I got a new optical mouse. Guang Liang bought it for me. So sweeeet rite? I really like it a lot and its the cutest thing. Guang Liang is Kenneth's army buddy if ur wondering and he really is the nicest guy ever. =)

Was asked to go down to Butter Factory to celebrate Daryl Wong's bday. But I can't. WHy??? Stupid exams....
Because of my studies and work stress.... I can't celebrate fren's birthdays.... especially frens that matters to me. its sad. to see people having fun and playing while Im struggling with the weight of the world and worries that is making me age. My life sucks.
Was debating the other day with Daryl when I was whining away that I have no life..... cuz when they asked me to head down to Ice Cold Beer I could not. And Im so envious of them able to go out at nite, have drinks, chat with frens. He said that I have a life, and he had no life, thats is why he is outside wasting time.
I dunnoe which is true... but well, it does not matter. cuz right now, it not cool to be me. Its not fun to be me.

today is eve-public holiday and Im not out partying, getting wasted or not even out! gahhh........
save me please. I need motivation. I need energy. I need strength. I need to sleep and wake up when all this is over.

ACDC lost the battle to M&M Cru. Which sux. So irritating.....
It was so 'kelong' !!!!!
Adam is so cute.... despite that Samuel's fren said that he is so not cute and hot. I dun care. I tink he's cute. Im weird I know.. I know. I have weird taste... I know I know.... that's why I have no frens. I disagree with everything in this world. I even have to live in the opposition area. how's that for goin against the norm.
Ok, enough of this emo shit.
Anyways, another video of Adam Sevani and ACDC battle against the girls....
Go Adam.... =D

Contradiction.

2008-08-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

Im on the brink of insanity. Im like a zombie. Im the living dead.
Living my life right now would be as good as dead.
Im stressed. Im panicking. Im depressed. Im tired.
I have no energy,
I have no life.
Im angry everyday.
Or rather fed up with everything.
Im sad.
Im worried.
Im supposed to be studying, but im so sick of everything.
I juz wanna scream. I wanna quit school!
If I dun quit school, I wanna resign from work...........

I need this badly. Really badly or Im gonna go mad~
I really really really really feel like giving up.

Anyways, its so contradicting. I cant wait for my exams to be over. Yet Im so not ready.
I do not have enough time to study due to work. And this is causing me stress. I wan all this to be over yet Im so not looking forward to next week.
Its so torturous.
I tink Im like babling away... im making no sense.
Whatever...
Im so overwhelmed by everything.

The past Saturday there was a gathering at my place to celebrate Samuel's birthday. It was amazing to be able to squeeze bout 20 pple in my small humble home.
I tink I barely spoke like more than 5 sentances to Samuel. or rather to anyone else.
I feel damn guilty. but i dun understand why too. I feel like a stranger. I feel too tired. Like all the energy drained out of me.
Having a best friend is often tiring, troublesome, hurting and disappointing.
I feel like im neglecting my friends... not spending enough time with.
I dun have a best friend.
And I dun need one either.

After the dinner, headed down to Play and Tabs. I went down because it was Sam's bday but I Felt bored and left without a word.
No need for good byes. Too tired. Who cares anyway.
I tink its not my thing anymore. All the loud music. All the crowd. I tink im getting old. or im getting boring. Or both.

I feel so affected by what is goin on between me and my friends. Especially with S. But theres nothing I can do. I see the space between us. But I can't seem to make things better.
I feel like I have no one to turn to.
I feek like I have no one on my side.
I always feel like Im fighting all on my own.

Baby, I knw its tiring to hear me complain everyday bout school and work. Im sorry.
I know it sucks to see me moody everyday. Hopefully things will get better after the 15th 'aite!

Samuel, Happy 21st. Sorry I did not spend it with u. Hope it was a happy birthday. maybe we could do coffee someday, juz both of us.

I hate me

2008-08-01T23:05:00.004+08:00

I feel so silly. For goin all the way there and taking a bus home alone. All I really wanted was to spend more time with you instead of being apart waiting for each other.
Im so silly. I'm Love's fool.
Who do I suddenly feel so direction-less. I waited for the bus for more than 45mins.
All alone at the bus-stop. Felt so weird. So many people around me, but I feel like Im in a bubble. All their voices and laughter being drowned out by the pounding of my own heart.
Im so foolish.
Im so stubborn.
I love being alone.
I love being in my own world. Where no one else belongs.
Sometimes I feel like no one understands.... I tink because Im a weirdo.
I tink whoever that have to spend the rest of their life with me would be miserable.
I have erratic moodswings that even I myself can't explain.
Sometimes..... most of the time actually, I love being alone - its pathetic.
Mama called me just now, I guess she's feeling lonely too. Im bringing her out on sunday.
Im wondering what is on your mind now.
Freak? Weirdo? Crazy? Mad?
The bus seems to be rushing. Why? Is everybody in a rush to get to somewhere? Why aren't I rushing somewhere too? I have no direction.
Thinking I should go home. But facing the empty home alone would be too miserable. Too painful. Especially when everyone I know are somewhere out there sharing laughters. i see pairs everywhere. And Im a singular. I know that its not often that Im alone. But it stings when it happens, especially when I made an effort to make things better.
But you were careless with my feelings. Maybe Im too fragile. Too sensitive. But it still hurt. A little. Not a lot, because I could still smile while talking to you. So it was a little because I could hide my hurts behind a smile, a laugh. So that you would not be confused about what happened.
What should I do??
Are there pills for insanity?
Would it make me normal?
Im very fascinated with the thought of being a normal person.
I wish my name was Jane. As in plain Jane.
Instead of Freaky Luisa.
Luisa - Jeanne -
I still dun understand.
I guess I never will.
I wish u understood me more. But I dun even understand myself.
So I guess... Im hoping you will not give up on me. But hold my hand through my difficult times and crazy moods. Sometimes, I juz need you to be around. To show me more attention. The way I wan. Sometimes, its not bout what you say.... but juz understanding me. Knowing what I need the most.
I juz need you to show me that you want me. Juz like how I need you.

This is as real as it gets.

Saturday happens like it never came...

2008-07-26T19:53:00.006+08:00

Its Saturday, a day that i spend my whole week looking forward to and Im now all alone at home.
Went to Liyana's wedding after work just now. It was fun gathering and catching up with people I haven't seen in a long time. I have no idea at all how to drive to Pasir Ris but I have to say that Aaron gives pretty good directions and Sharon had been a good co-driver. So despite me being the kayu driver that I am, I managed to reach the place in a pretty decent timing, and everybody's lives were still intact. =)

Me too wanna get married~!! Liyana looks so happy. I feel so happy and envy her at the same time. When will it be my turn??? I wan to wear a pretty dress and take pretty photos.....
I wanna be a mother too. really really. I tink its time. or maybe im juz so done with my life rite now. All I really wan.... really wan is my own family. A home I can come home to. My own family. I wan to be able to get a bigger place, bring my grandma with me and live happily ever after with me. yup yup.
F#%* the parents. I do love them with whatever space I have left in my heart. But all I need is just my granny.

Its so quiet at home. I slept the whole afternoon away and woke up feeling so lonely. Suppose to meet Jarlyn but was so exhausted from working and wedding I have no energy left in me. So now Im stoning on my sofa with my textbooks all around me. Suppose to start studying for my exams... but i get so frustrated juz thinking bout it. I can't breathe when I look at it. I HATE STUDYING~!!! I HATE DEADLINES~! I HATE EXAMS~!
Oh man, I juz wanna get this over and done with. Im really really so afraid that I can't pass my modules this sem. I feel like crying everytim I tink of it.
I tink im giving myself too much stress.... I need to breathe. i need to calm down.
God please help me. I can't do it on my own. Im nothing without u. Thank you.

I can't wait to go fetch Ken from work later.

Now that I have you, I can't imagine my life without u.
You give in to my every whine.
You do anything to make me smile.
You take all my shitty mood swings and harsh words that comes out when im in a foul mood.
You work so much so that u may buy gifts to surprise me.
You watch all chick flick movies with me even though I know U really wanna watch movies like "I am Legend", "Hancock"....etc.
Nope, Im still not goin to watch those movies, so boring.
I wanna go watch the dog show.... 10 promises to my dog.
.... what I wan to say is, you make me happy. Hopefully you'll stick around for a long time.

the weather is.....

2008-07-24T23:19:00.003+08:00

I ought to be happy. Im on MC tomorrow. My throat hurts. My nose is running and Im running a mild temperature. Must be the weather this few days, it keeps raining... its really depressing.

I really and honestly did not wan to take MC tomorrow but well.... since doc insisted that I take a rest. I should. Right? =D Kenneth is on OFF too. wheepee... so we get to bum the whole day tomorrow. So happy.

Im still feeling so guilty bout the 'auntie incident'. Told my colleagues bout it and they all laughed. And really laughed out loud. But its not funny to me. I really got a shocked. =S Guilty like shit too cuz suppose to go pick mama up and send her to Karaoke class, but was caught up at the doc's so could not, needed to rush to class after for my presentation. Super hectic~!!!

Ultrasound scan came out today, all organs are in order. I asked doctor what causes the ache and he said it might be some dried blood inside. *scary*

So how? Doc says nothing can be done but wait and see whether it gets worse.... -.-

Great. Wait till when Im about to die then tell me to do something bout it.

im so angry. i need a happy space.

People at work keep telling me that Ken is a good bf... blah blah blah. I have no doubts bout it now, but they dun even know him. How do they know that he is a good guy? Juz cuz he picks me up from work everyday? Waits hours for me and sends me wherever I wanna go? etc etc.

Why don't people say that Im such a good gf to Kenneth. I do my part to0 lei.....

Anyways, was backtracking a little today at the taxi stand while waiting for Baby. was thinking back to the time when I have no Ken in my life. All the partying, all the mistakes, all the things I did. I do not regret anything, but wished I have done things different. Wished that I have made different decisions about certain things. Thought differently.

I do not regret because I believe that without all that have happened, it would not bring me to where I am today. Down to earth and Trying to appreciate everything in life.

I would most prob be the same spoilt brat I was 3 years back, irritating and demanding and absolutely unbearable. Juz ask the ex. I knew I was a really nice person back then, but my pride was juz to stong and nose too high up in the air. I had everything.

Only when I almost lost everthing........ I woke up. It was a scary and dark period for me. Not knowing where I was headed. Not being able to make plans for my future. Not having my family with me. Being all alone. It was totally miserable. I never wish to be back there again. And Im thankful for Samuel shoving Kenneth into my life. Both have been such a constant pillar of love and support towards me. Helping me to build up my life all over again.

Also my darling girls, Jarlyn and Ali-cia.

Alicia for always doin my facial and making me pretty. and cooking for me when im hungry.

Jarlyn for always being irritating but I dunnoe why I still wan to talk to u. I always believed it was that first time u talked to me. "Eh, wan to go smoke?"

Best pick up line ever~!!

Looking back at 'queerjaded', it was really a turbulent time for me. now im building up my life day by day, having dreams to be fufilled...........

im tired and sick. time to go to bed. the drowsy medicine is kicking in and its time for my daily massage.

Whee

2008-07-22T00:07:00.003+08:00

I hate to spoil the emo mood I was in earlier but this pic looks damn cool~

Again, it was taken by a damn good camera. I wished I jumped higher but I was eating fries and was worried that it might drop all over and I'll look damn stupid. -.- So well.

3kg of mangosteen and almost half box of 'Royce' Chocolates and some love from Baby....

Im feeling a little bit better. Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I'll get through it fine. =S

I wish.......

2008-07-21T16:42:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wish I love myself more.

Sometimes I wish I can be more confident.

Sometimes I wish I can a little more charming.

Sometimes I wish I have it all.

Sometimes I wish I was more successful.

Sometimes I wish I can travel more.

Sometimes I wish I can take pictures of myself and think how beautiful I look instead of thinking how fat or ugly I look in the photo.

Sometimes I wish I can have slimmer and longer legs.

Sometimes I wish I can dun give a flying @#%^ on what goes on around me.

Sometimes I wish I can have a good hair day everyday.

Sometimes I wish I have more time for my friends and family.

Sometimes I wish..... I wish..... I wish....

I wish to be myself. And to love myself.

And for my people around me to love me too. For who I am.

With all my insecurities and flaws.

Saturday blues. Is there such a thing??

2008-07-19T16:54:00.007+08:00

Today is official the worst day of my working life. Callie, my partner fell down and hurt her head. Leaving me alone, one man show, on a Saturday~!! It was crazy. But I still made it through. So... PHEW.

Anyways, Im pretty stressed out from school. Getting panic attacks, anxiety attacks, gastric attacks..... u get the idea. I feel so tired. I really really need a good break. From work and school. Was thinkin of all sorts of ways to get a really long mc..... but im afraid it might hurt.

But still when things seems so bad, juz seeing Kenneth makes it better. Somehow. Its great how someone in this world can see all my imperfections as cute and beautiful. Which is really sweet. While everyone thinks its the most unglam, it does not bother him at all. Or when my hair is at its messiest and I totally give up trying to make it look better and he still tinks its perfect. Im in a blissful mood at the moment but it might turn for the worse later on due to reports which juz can't seem to be completed. Damn, and tomorrow is a Sunday and I gotta attend my project group meeting. Im getting really weary. Someone pls pull me out of my misery. I feel like I can't make it this sem and Im really getting worried. =(

On a lighter note, my ACDC t-shirt arrived today~ Whee. So happy.

Kewl~!

Im down with ACDC~ hehehehe
I Heart Adam Sevani~!!!!!!!
Yup. Im still crazy.

I tink im suffering from a quarter life crisis. As I mature -
1. I've learnt that you cannot make someone love u. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

2. I've learnt that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

3. I've learnt that it takes years to build up trust and it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it.

4. I've learnt that you should not compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than u tink.

5. I've learnt that regardless how hot and steamy a relationship is in the beginning, the passion fades and there better be lots of money to take its place.

6. Most frighteningly true - I've learnt that the people u care most about in your life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Well, what can I say. Life is like a Lollipop. Sometimes sweet, sometimes sticky. Most of the time u juz gotta suck it. Okie, no sense. Im blabbering already. Time to ciao. and rot in my little home on a sat nite in front of my tv and eat ice-cream.

Juz ignore this.... mood swings

2008-07-16T12:08:00.004+08:00

Feels like becoming more and more zi-bi.
I feel like I have become so tired of entertaining people around me.
I can't be bothered anymore.
I feel so tired at work.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel so much better after lunch. Less moody.
Baby came down to have lunch with me. So sweet. I so happy.
But Baby left for duty already. Im goin to be so lonely tonite. sobsob.

Today is like one of my best days at work. No need to carry our role of either CSO or Cash Officer. Wheeee...
My role in the branch today is. KLKK (Kia Lai Kia Ke).
Shiok Man. Keep eating at the back room and gossipping with Sharon and the rest. If only everyday at work is like that. Life would be good. keke
Later gotta go to Meridien for class. Sianz.

Saturday Night

2008-07-13T22:13:00.004+08:00

My weekend sucked. Not totally but it still sucked. Considering the fact that on Sat I worked half day, reached home at 3pm, started on my marketing report and sat on the sofa in the same position until 8+pm. It sucks cuz I missed my afternoon nap and it sucks also cuz time juz flew by with me spending more than 5hours in front of my lappy typing away.......................arggggg

But it was not totally that bad..... after I decided that I could not go on with my report anymore, decided to go dinner with Samuel at Zion road.

After which met up and hung out with Keong, Benedict, Aug, Sheena......many more. It was pretty fun juz hanging out despite me feeling super exhausted.

Baby So Happy to see Keong~

Hanging out.

Tired already.......

Did I mention that Keong got a new Mini-Cooper S. So So Shiok~!

Keong so Happy~~~~

But Baby also very happy with his ride~

yEAH~ at least we have a car to drive around.....

While some people struggle with owning a big car,

We are very happy~~~ with our ride. No Doubt.

Awww....

2008-07-13T21:33:00.002+08:00

Baby sent me this pic while I was busy with my report. I can't stop the smile from spreading on my face. Somtimes that boy can be so sweet.

Love Love Love U........................

Can't get enough of Adam G Sevani

2008-07-12T15:08:00.006+08:00

I can't seem to get enough of him. Spent my days looking at his videos instead of doin my report. Juz a little peek of what Adam Sevani is all about.... Of course he's the tall lanky geeky one in beige top and cap. *screams* I so adore him!!!!

More more more videos to come, when I got more time... =D

One of my favourite video of Adam Sevani...... He's so good, makes u sit up and take a closer look at his boyish cuteness....

I tink geeky guys are like totally hot. Away from the conventional tall, dark and handsome. People who know me, knows that guys (nerds/geeks) like this totally gets me.
Similar to Eric Szmanda who I was so crazy about, the geeky lab technician on CSI who is like so damn cute too. Made me go on a CSI marathon. -.-

I know most of the names sound foreign, but trust me. They are all damn hot.....~ To me, that is.

Adam~
Adam~
Adam.
Call me crazy cuz that is what I am now.
Crazy for him.

wahahahahahahaha

Not forgetting my very own nerd. Kenneth Lim. =D

Im SO INFATUATED~ Gosh

2008-07-10T18:26:00.003+08:00

Im totally like head over heels with Adam Sevani.... He's so hot, so cute. *sigh*

He adds on to my list of favourite cute guys.

He's like totally talented, and he's such a geek.

I love geeks. As what Hilary Duff and sister said - Nerds are totally in right now. Yeah~!

Adam Sevani is so damn young, he juz turned 16 and he's already so damn cute.

Gosh, I sound like a teenager with a mega crush..........

I had a good day today...

2008-07-08T21:28:00.002+08:00

Today was a good day. Nothing happened in particular, juz feel.... happy.
yesterday was a very very bad day, where everything that can go wrong, went wrong. I was so on the verge of taking my Gucci and walking out of the bank, not wanting to work another minute. It was THAT bad.
But nevertheless, I managed to make it to the end of the day......
So today was a good day, cuz I had half day off and Kenneth got half day from camp too! So we spent the afternoon walking around town, without the usual hectic crowd. Spending time together, which was nice. It has been a long time since we last went out. So the whole afternoon was juz spent walking around town aimlessly doin nothing. So Fun. =)

Im sitting in front of the com waiting for the washing machine to be fixed and im bored.

As the days goes by, I tink how lucky I am.......... that you're not here to ruin it for me.
(hahahahahahahahahaha)

A little....

2008-07-05T00:24:00.002+08:00

Its friday nite. Home alone. Ken at Zouk..................................................... working.

Im feeling a little sad.
Im feeling a little confused.
Im feeling a little jealous.
Im feeling a little lost.

Before I start my complaining. I heard this on the radio by the Muttons, 98.7FM while driving home.
"So u think that female is the weaker sex? Try getting back the blanket in the middle of the night."
Wahahahahahaha..... Lame. I know. but it still got me smiling.

Work tomorrow as usual. my life is so boring.
Ken gotta go duty tomorrow which means I got the whole day to myself. Or rather I'll be all alone tomorrow. Good time for me to try to start on my project which is due really really soon. And im still bumming around.

Everyone is living the same life, walking the same earth. But somehow some people juz got a lucky break, some lead better lives.... blah blah blah. I know I've been whining bout this non-stop. But I juz feel so..... *sigh* as the chinese saying goes... same people, different lives. I tink it goes something like that la.
Some are famous.
Some are bloody rich.
Some born with a golden spoon.

Its so discouraging to know bout all this charmed life people. Im jealous.
Especially when I heard of the guy who gives his wife $32K a month as spending money, its like WOW!
He's pretty well know for buying down the whole condominium cuz he does not like to share the pool and lifts with other people and lives alone with his wife in the penthouse of the condo. WHAT?! too much money dunnoe where to spend.
Working in my job allows me to meet and know many many people like these. And it is depressing. VEry depressing.
$32K a month for a housewife. Her MONTHLY allowance is my ANNUAL salary. I wanna be THAT housewife. But I know I dun have the luck. Its juz my life. My fate.
im so jealous why some juz get it better than the rest. its so unfair. it it being at the right place at the right time? Or meeting the right people?
No wonder people say the chinese saying. people compare with people, will compare until die?? Is it the right translation??? haha. talking to too many chinese aunties recently. at least somehow my chinese is improving. right?

I know I gotta be contented with what I have.
But what do I have???!!!!!
I dun have/make 32K a month.
Im not a famous person.
I have to work/study very hard juz to have a better life.

okie, time to do some reflections

Things to be thankful for/ happy about
1. Grandmother (most important person in my whole life)
2. Kenneth (almost perfect bf)
3. Samuel (even though not talked in like ages)
4. My own home
5. My cute Peugeot
6. My 42 pairs of shoes
7. Roughly 30++ bags
8. More than a 100 pieces of clothing
9. Good job? (I did not say it's fun)
10. Good friends? (not so sure at the moment.)
11. Sponsored degree
12. I look cute. ( I never say gorgeous hor, juz cute. not even pretty. juz cute, like retarded cute)

Damn, i sound damn materialistic.

Sucky stuff
1. Im not disgustingly rich.
2. I dun have a pool downstairs.
3. Im not a supermodel.
4. I can't sing.
5. I have a bad hair day. Everyday.
6. I dun have clothes to wear.
7. I dun have matching shoes with my clothes.
8. I spend way too much money, and I can't control myself.
9. No life
10. No one to talk to at the moment. (which explains the long post)
11. No plans on the weekends, except school work and reports.
12. Im not making money by looking pretty.
13. I will always be the girl-next-door.
14. I can't speak chinese or thai fluently. (both supposedly to be my mother tongue)
15. Did I mention not rich and 16. not famous and 17. not beautiful.

The list of sucky stuff can juz go on and on. im feeling more and more depressed as the list grows. So from what I see, conclusion is......
The bad outweighs the good.
But the good is good enough??? what am I saying.
im being like super negative.

I need to tink Happy Happy Happy.
Life is hard. Balls.

Kenneth & Luisa

2008-07-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

This picture was taken by a very expensive camera and it was beautifully taken. =)

Despite the fact that it was taken at my most unglam moment, it still managed to turn out pretty okie actually.

This pic was taken after swimming when my hair was wet and uncombed. Me in my shorts and slippers walking around Suntec City. SO UNGLAM. I kept whining to Kenneth that I wanna go home. but well, at least something good came out of it.

Feeling like im coming down with a very bad cold. My tissue paper lying all over the place. Nose hurts from all the blowing and its red and dry. I look like the freaky reindeer now. damn.

Feeling kinda stressed out from my school work cuz I DUNNOE HOW TO DO....... !!!

How? HOw? HOW?

I feel so helpless when I look at the case study.

Other than school stress, everything else is pretty much ok. Besides the fact that Ken gotta do duty this Sat leaving me at home alone to finish up my report.

Life is Good.

Besides the leaking nose, Im feeling very happy everyday. Everyday is a joy with Baby. So happy to juz come home and spend time with you. I feel so bad that u always gotta wait for me. I really feel so guilty making u wait for 3 hrs doin nothing 'till my class finishes. Sigh. Although u say its okie and that u dun mind. I really feel bad that u are rushing here and there, to send me to work and to school. Then to pick me up after school. Or simply juz rushing around to send me to places. Im glad that u are willing to do all this for me but guilty at the same time.

Tomorrow is Friday, but no plans as usual. Juz a whole load of marketing research report to do up.... *faints*

SO BORING.

Its getting late. Nite Nite.

Sianz

2008-07-01T00:48:00.003+08:00

I slept my whole long weekend away. Managed to avoid Monday blues cuz I was off today. but its also the first day of my *ahem*. so i was lying in bed rolling around in pain cuz of my cramps. grrrr..... torturous.

My cramps are bloody hell killing me and my leg feels so swollen. Besides the monthly torture that I go through, my weekend was nothing special. Out of 24hrs a day, I slept like 20hrs. Wake up only to drink water and go to the toilet. Not much of a appetite too.

So not looking forward to goin back to work tomorrow. sigh.

I wish I could spend all of my days like that, lying around in bed with Baby. Sleeping till late in the noon with Baby, taking lazy afternoon naps on Baby's lap on the sofa and watching DVDs in the evening. How quickly the weekend passes. Time flies when you're relaxing.

These few days spent at home, I had lots of time to myself.

To think.

To ponder.

Im upset bout certain things but realise that I can't change most things. But at the same time, Im happy.

I feel that this world is such a cruel world and life is difficult. Its hard to just ignore the bad stuff. Bad stuff as in bad people and bad situations.

I feel that she does not like me very much. You can say im sensitive. or I tink too much. I probably am but still this is how I feel. Its so obvious sometimes, but its not obvious to others. She's trying to leave me out, but I dun want to play that game. I dun have the time and the energy. Im not fighting with u for anything, but u make me feel you are taking him away from me. and not even leaving a little for me. Or maybe he himself do not find me interesting to be with anymore.....

SO much negative thoughts.. I can't breathe.

So many mean and rude people around. its sad sometimes. I dun understand whats up their ass..

Happy people seems to be extinct. all around are people who are irritated and always in a rush.

Talking bout no one in particular, juz some experiences on the road when im driving. its hell driving on the road nowadays, everyone seems to be rushing off to die somewhere.

Good times over. Say hello to work and reports and deadlines and schoool.

I have no life.

ok, not too bad. At least I had durians juz now. and I bought like 2kg of Longan.

Im burping durian smell and the whole house smells of durians now. YUM!

having a little sore throat. MC??

Sick...

2008-06-29T22:38:00.003+08:00

This is Ken telling me I talk too much.... =D

Anyways its too cute not too share.

Had lunch at Excelsior Hotel with Grandma, Kenneth and many others today to celebrate Parent's day. Lunch was alrite, caught up with my God-parents and my God-sister and brother. It has been ages since I last saw them and am glad they are doing well for themselves. Joel is now a trainee pilot and Michelle have grown up beautifully.

Felt happy that I could spend the day with Mama, I love her so much. More than anything in this world. She was so upset that she scratched her new car today at the carpark. The scratch was pretty bad actaully and Ken tried to help lighten the scratch but could not.

Having damn bloody bad tummyache now. Head pounding like hell. Feeling so sick and Im suppose to go to Powerhouse tonite cuz Samuel is off the next day, but I dun tink I can drag myself out tonite. Kinda in pain and suffering now. Days not working seems to fly past so fast. 2 out of the 3 days are almost over and Im left with one more day of rest. I dun even know how I spent the 2 days. All I remembered was sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. I sleep through my days and nights. Im such a pig.

So not looking forward to going back to work and school. Its such a torture. But I really cant wait to graduate man! Once I get my degree, life will be back to normal. With me only complain bout work and no more projects and reports and exams. I can't wait!!! but for now, there's still a long way to go, so I shall 'enjoy' it while I can, cuz for sure I'll miss it when its gone.

I can't wait for me to graduate and Ken to finish army and we can start travelling more often. go to places that I know nothing about. Drive around the country side of.... not sure yet. breathe the fresh air of someplace different. See mountains, lakes, snow..... plus shopping. I want to see many many things.

But for now, back to reality for the moment. Gotta concentrate on my project on hand.

Oh, and I MISS SAMUEL!!!

I know we dun spent as much time together as before. But U are still constantly on my mind.

As for the bitches, I really wanna meet u girls, but Im so busy at the moment. I promise to ask u out the moment im free okie'?? pls dun be upset.

Headache.